Life's Menagerie
by Funky Nassau
Summary: On Hold. Life is hard. Love is harder.
1. Prologue: Omega

**Life's Menagerie **

A/N This story is my first published on Forgive me my weakness…

Disclaimer- What's the harm in dreaming?

* * *

**Prologue- _Omega_**

_Endings lie hidden in many times and places. Unfortunately, they are not predictable. The one you love can be swept away by an ill-timed circumstance… gone in an instant of heartbreaking despair. Those who have lost often tearfully declare all they wanted was to say farewell. _

* * *

I stand, smiling bravely . My heart beats slow and steady, pulsing to the rhythm of my lungs. Pain drifts in increasing waves, but I will not give in to it. We have finally reached the end of suffering. Naraku defeated, all of us freed from our burdens. Before me my friends gather, exalting in their new-found liberty. Weary and wounded, there still remains an indefinable air of lightness to their actions.

Kikyou leans heavily upon her bow, an empty quiver of arrows at her side. She had aided us, as had the mighty Sesshomaru and the wolf demon tribe of Kouga. Together, we defeated perhaps the most terrible demon to have ever walked the earth. An ache in my heart briefly overshadows the agony in my side. Kikyou. Why has she stayed? Is she going to press Inuyasha to make good upon his oath?

Turning my head aside, I concentrate on the physical pain, seeking a distraction from the bitter truth. Beneath my breath I repeat over and over that we've won. I'm happy. Yes, happy that we are all free, happy that we can now continue with our lives in peace.

I watch as Miroku and Sango share a sweet moment as they tend to a revived but injured Kohaku. Sesshomaru looks down upon his tiny human charge, an inscrutable emotion hidden within his eyes as he cradles her tired, wounded body. Naraku, bastard that he was, had attempted to use the innocent against the demon Lord. Kouga moves among his wolves, greeting all his men with warm congratulations, while Kikyou… Kikyou gazes into the golden eyes of Inuyasha, in a heartfelt moment of shared emotion.

Why? He has not yet come to me, not since the first rush of panic filled his gaze. Doesn't he care that I'm wounded? Did he forget that my side was pierced by one of Naraku's tentacles of miasma? I know that he was the only one who saw. Surely that incredible nose of his would have noted what the others have not. But no, my scent must be smothered under the scent of grave soil.

Tears sting , harsh and unforgiving. I hold back. She has always had his heart, even if he loved me for a brief time. This isn't the time. I had never had a chance. I need to let go, let _him_ go. The pain increases, and the tears threaten to overflow. No! I will not show weakness! I _will _be happy!

I move towards my over-stuffed backpack, hoping for bandages. I can't cry over such a silly little thing; others need help. I need help. We are finally free from Naraku's compulsions. I have a duty to make sure we do not die before we have a chance to sample the sweetness of life.

Yes, they are all free. Even me. The jewel is finally complete. Inuyasha will have his wish. I can go home, and finally continue with my life. I pause in my search. Blood is dripping. The brilliant liquid slides down my white thigh. My breath hitches in my lungs. Fumbling fingers drop the precious bandages, and they sink back into the depths of my pack. My head pounds feverishly and my vision wavers.

Unnoticed by all, I stumble over to a tree, leaning into its support as I press a trembling hand to my side. An unexpected ending, this. I had hoped for more time. Time to say goodbye.

My head hurts, and I know that I'm pale. I'm losing blood fast. Common sense dictates that I call for help, but my mind is muddled. I can think of nothing but those things which have been left undone. Things left unsaid. Not a breath can be wasted, not a heartbeat spared. There isn't time to call out.

All I wanted was more time. I will not be granted even that. I brace myself and begin to walk with an unsteady gait towards my friends. Now is not the time to be weeping. It is time for celebrations and warm congratulations. It is time. It is now. All there is, this very moment, in which for a brief time I exist. My being is focused on this very moment.

My breathing is unnaturally loud. My heart beat is pounding. I need to say goodbye before I go home. Suddenly, I feel my legs give way beneath me.

'_No… Please, no. I never got to say goodbye.'_

Time slows till every second becomes an eternity. Silence unfolds gossamer wings, sweeping in to cradle me. Vision blurring, my gaze descends to those of my friends, memorizing their features, their warmth.

Sango, strong, sweet, and beautiful, smiling in weary triumph, love for her future husband shining through in her shy eyes. I can see her aura. It sparkles with joy for the family she has regained, and the future she will make.

Miroku, caring, benevolent, and intelligent, grinning with joy at the prospect of life, life with his beloved. The lecherous grin that is so familiar has an added element, tenderness. That grin is for one woman now. No longer will it stray.

Shippou, cute, loyal, and loving, face bright with his jubilation at our success. He laughs and wiggles, eyes seeing things that only a child would note. He has matured so much, been forced to learn. Yet he still grins cheekily as he teases the world.

Kouga, amorous, hard-headed, and steadfast, laughing among his pack of worshipful followers. He is prince, though none would tell him that- His ego is large enough. Yet he can care so much for those he holds dearest; family and friends. He has loved me, in his own way.

I no longer hear their voices. All that I hear now is my heartbeat. It is heavy and loud, its beats echoing in the silence that has become my world. I am still falling, and I have yet to look upon the face that matters most.

Inuyasha…

He stands, tall and strong, oblivious to the blood staining his red haori. His smooth face does not reflect the scars that litter his heart and soul. The elegant sweep of his neck, the stubborn square cut of his jaw, the gentle fall of his snowy locks. His strong black brows meet low, protecting his intense amber eyes. He is so much to me.

And I will not be able to say goodbye.

My fall slows till it seems as though the world has frozen about me. I have imagined our final parting millions of times, but never has it ended like this. I was not supposed to die like this. Words are beyond me. Time has fled, leaving me these final seconds grace. Seconds that last an eternity, yet pass in the fall of a tear.

The only thing I ever wanted was to say goodbye. I knew we would part. All that I asked was that last, simple farewell. But now, now all there is the silence and the encroaching dark.

Time begins to move faster now, my fall slowly resuming its inevitable course. The moment is fading; the breath escapes from my lungs, and it is unwilling to return. What happened to my happy ever after!

Now they turn, and their happy looks fade into varying degrees of horror. I don't want that. I never wanted that. I just wanted to say... Can't I have anything!

'_Anything?'_

My heartbeat echoes louder as I see their mouths form my name. Slowly, as though they move through air that has turned to molasses, they rush to my side. But fate is against us all. The Gods have turned their backs and the sun has hidden his face. My consciousness begins to fade, and I lose focus. Things begin to blur and I can no longer recall why I am falling. I am puzzled, but then I remember.

Naraku. He would not let it end easily. He had wounded me, but in the heat of the battle it went unnoticed. Now… Now it became clear that I would never be happy. He had hated us, wanted us to suffer.

He had triumphed. Through the haze that begins to creep over my vision and my mind, I see Inuyasha turn, a look of unutterable grief permeating his features. Finally he realizes his mistake; the dawning fear clouds his gorgeous eyes.

Behind him, Kikyou stands forgotten. Upon her face there lies sadness so deep that I feel my heart tear.

I cannot think now. The lone thought that makes itself know through the now thunderous pounding of my heart is that they are all sad. Even Kikyou, the woman I once considered my rival and embodiment of all that I could never achieve. Once I die, my soul will return to the only container left on this earth. Inuyasha needs to be loved. She will be the one to do so. I vaguely hope that now I am gone, she will finally find true happiness - happiness that has been denied me.

I numbly recognize that I shall never again feel my beloved's strong arms enfolding me. Memories superimpose themselves upon the present; they filter fleetingly through the gray of my vision. My heartbeat… it's gone. There is only the silence. And then, my lashes sweep shut as I finally finish the fall that began so many months ago.

All is darkness and silence. My body impacts with the dirt, pushing out what little air remains in a huge whoosh. My eyes open wide, seeing everything through a multitude of blinding stars. I can't…

Air drags into my lungs, a feeble attempt to continue existing. It's useless. I'm fading. I'm past.

Inuyasha screams to me, begging. His heart is breaking in those words, telling me the truth. Kikyou may have been the his love, but for a brief instant I am all that there is, was, and ever will be. I am both the alpha and the omega… And it grieves me. My mind clouds over and I am about to slip away.

A gentle voice whispers in my head, "_The jewel. He must not use it, or else all that you have fought so desperately for will be in vain."_

Mustering every ounce of willpower, I manage to utter a few words. It is all that fate will allow me.

"Inuyasha…" my voice slips out, "I… love you. Please," My breathe rattles in my lungs, "Do not wish… "

His voice calls to me, the last sensation I have before I fall forever into the welcoming darkness.

* * *

A/N- Eh heh heh heh… Mercy? 


	2. Burnished Gold

**Life's Menagerie**

A/N- Of all the stories I could have posted, I put up the one where I haven't finished working out the kinks. The original idea popped into my head one night. I wrote it down almost verbatim, and the rest of the scenes are loosely connected ones that have been floating in the sea of confusion known as my brain. Thanks to the Almighty Naimh St. George, whom I worship. She is a genius at writing, and has assisted me greatly! Check out her work, it's definitely worth it.

The characters were supposed to be confused about their issues in this chapter. However, it seems they are just plain confused.

* * *

**Chapter one-** **_Burnished Gold_**

_Memories shape the person we once were, the person we are today, and all that we can become. _

* * *

A weary band of travelers made their way along the countryside. They traveled fast even in their exhaustion, for they carried a precious package. Two of the travelers ran at incredible speeds, one hauling a child on his back. One, a red-robed demon, pounding at the ground with furious intensity. The other wore voluminous robes and struggled mightily to match his companion's speed while still maintaining his grip on the young demon exterminator. Above the racing figures flew a demonic fire cat, who carried four passenger's upon her back. 

Seated on the feline was a sobbing fox-child. He cradled a slight bundle close to him. Wrapped in white lay a pale girl. She was as cold as a winter chill, and lay lax in his arms. A flickering blue light kept her in a state of suspended animation; on the brink of life and of death. That aura was held in place by solemn-faced priestess, seated behind the fox demon.

Riding before the pair was a battered demon huntress. Her face was drawn with lack of sleep and sorrow. Below the flying demon, both men were pushing themselves to the extent of their abilities. They were drawing on desperate strength; the delicate balance holding the girl's tenuous grip on life depended on swiftness.

A wolf demon watched mournfully from a distance as they passed beyond his tribe's boundaries. He could not follow, for to do so would risk an attack on the small band, something they could ill-afford. Behind him, an inu-youkai lord tended to the recently killed, all the while watching his small ward with an intent gaze. Under the power of his sword, the many corpses regained their souls and returned triumphantly to life. But to the one person who was needed most, healing could not come from the formidable sword and its magic.

All of the travelers were lost in their own thoughts, oblivious to everything. Everything, that is, except the soul held in place by gradually-weakening restraints. Memories of that soul, shining through its mortal body in a glance, a smile, or a moment of anger, filled their minds. We look now into the thoughts of the two to whom the dying girl meant most.

* * *

Sunlight shown down on the grassy knoll, filtering through the protective awning of the Goshinboku. A small off-white butterfly fluttered nearby, searching out the sweet smell of citrus flowers. Alighting on the source of the delicious scent, it walked, delicate and frail. Two wide green eyes watched with breathless wonder as the insect nestled comfortably into the silken strands of Kagome's hair. With wings gently opening and closing, it looked as though it were paying tribute to this beautiful creature of the forest. 

Kagome watched, lips curved in a sweet smile, as Shippou crept closer to her, wary of frightening off the object of his attention. Her cerulean eyes crinkled at the corners as Shippou climbed laboriously up her school uniform. Reaching out, he gingerly caressed the wings of the butterfly. Intoxicated with Kagome's sweet scent, it lay docile under his childish touch. An expression of undiluted joy spread across his face. A giggle escaped him, and the butterfly, startled by the gust of air, lifted off from Kagome and winged away. Kagome began to chuckle as Shippou shouted wordlessly and gave chase. He followed the insect's erratic flight through the trees, leaping at times to capture the elusive bug.

She tilted her face back to the dappled light and heaved a sigh. An open trigonometry book rested forgotten in her lap, pages waving idly in the slight breeze. Dark hair drifted in strands across her face, caressing and teasing. Closing her eyes, she relaxed into the comforting strength of the mighty God tree. Birds flitted through the quiet woods, calling to each other. A gorgeous blue sky, littered with a few wisps of cloud created a brilliant dome of color on the world. All in all, a beautiful day in Feudal Japan.

Her eyes drifted open at the sound of Shippou's triumphant return.

"Kagome! Look, I caught it!" Eagerly he presented his closed hands for inspection. Leaning in, Kagome gazed into the cautiously opened hands. Shippou cradled the butterfly as though it were spun glass, and glanced expectantly up at her face. Smiling, she studied the creature, then shifted her gaze to Shippou's happy face.

"Good job Shippou," She ruffled his hair, and he beamed with joy. "But why don't you let it go?" His face fell and he dropped his chin to his chest, crestfallen.

"Can't I keep it, just for a little?" he pleaded.

"I don't think that's wise, Shippou." Kagome studied the butterfly again, which searched for escape from its imprisonment. An unreadable look spread across her face, and her smile drooped slightly. "It will die if it's confined. It needs fresh air and flowers to survive. You don't want to harm it, do you?"

Shippou looked quizzical and returned to his downcast examination of the insect. He glanced up just as she knuckled her tears away and graced him with the full brilliance of her smile.

Shippou, though, looked horrified.

"Don't cry! See, I'm letting it go!" Anxious to prevent any sorrow in his beloved Kagome, he spread his hands wide, and anxiously flapped them about. The butterfly, disoriented, clung desperately to his tiny paw. Kagome's unexplained grief vanished completely at the comical sight of Shippou dancing around, attempting to dislodge the tenacious insect. His laughter started as muffled giggles, increased to quiet chuckles, and then to full-throated guffaws.

Shippou turned from his frantic waving to gaze at Kagome at first with consternation, then with a bewildered form of happiness. He didn't know what was so funny as to make her double over, clutching at her stomach. He grinned. He was always the one making her laugh. Though come to think of it, he wasn't always telling jokes when she giggled at him. Shaking his head, he dismissed the thought she could be laughing _at_ him, not with him.

Gradually, her laughter trickled off, though an occasional snort of remembered amusement caused a miniature eruption. Wiping tears from her eyes, she held her trembling sides.

"Shippou, you are one of the most wonderful men I know." He puffed out his tiny chest. Kagome had doubly complimented him, by first calling him a man and then by saying he was wonderful. His bravado fell away quickly and he leaped to take his favorite position in her lap. Cradling him close, she smiled down at him, sides still heaving from her mirth. "What would I ever do without you, my little protector?"

He snuggled into her warmth, breathing in the strange scent of his Kagome. Sweet orange blossoms mixed with the slightest tang of lemon, and a hint of ginger. He had questioned her once about the source of the smell, and blushing she had claimed it was her shampoo. Inuyasha had overheard and muttered some comment about there being no way to 'disguise her true smell'. Kagome had been quick to take offense, and the two had wandered off to squabble.

But now Shippou had her all to himself. Days that he could simply sit or play with her were few and far between, and he savored them all the more for their brevity.

The search for the jewel was harrowing and rest was often forgone in favor of travel. For now though, the group relaxed in the village, and Kagome grasped the opportunity to study in relative peace and quiet. Except that Shippou had followed her, and after a time of him silently hovering around, she had called out to him. Guiltily, he shuffled from his place of concealment, waiting to be berated as Inuyasha often was for interrupting her studies. Instead, she had smiled and beckoned him closer, patting the ground beside her.

He spent the time peacefully sitting or playing under the shadow of the Goshinboku. He never strayed far though, careful to keep the top of the huge tree in sight. Even in Inuyasha's peaceful forest, demons could lurk, seeking a meal or the power of a shard. But now the gentle warmth of the day and the comforting presence of her embrace lured him into a deep and peaceful slumber. He slipped into the welcoming grasp of his childish dreams, feeling loved and protected.

* * *

"**No**! Fuck it, there has to be something!" An angry hand slashed through the air, rejecting the inability of Kaede to assist Kagome. The old priestess bowed her head, and spoke quietly. 

"I have done all that I can. I am but a mortal woman, one who is old and infirm." Her wise gaze rose to meet the pain-filled eyes of the hanyou before her. "Kikyou has a much greater power than I, and if she cannot help our young lass, then there is naught to be done."

In the hut, hopeful faces fell. Sango turned into the strong embrace of her betrothed, seeking comfort. Her brother gazed fixedly into the wall, attempting to give his older sister a moment of privacy. Miroku's façade, a mask of calm, cracked. Sorrow creased his face with lines not meant for one so young. Burying his face in the softness of Sango's hair, he hugged her slender body close. At the entrance of the hut, Kikyou turned away, not wishing to be party to their grief. A faraway look settled on her face as she considered what was to become of her reincarnation.

"If the Tensaiga is not used, there is no hope." Kaede said, studying her worn and gnarled hands. Hands that had saved so many but could not assist this one frail life. "I cannot recall her soul, as doing so would destroy Kikyou's body. Kagome herself would never have opted to endanger the life another, even if in exchange she lost her own. I will not make such a decision. The only option is to use the Jewel, but you," Here she paused, "Inuyasha, you say she rejected that?"

Inuyasha looked away at this, and Shippou glared accusingly at him. A muscle in his jaw tightened. His eyes were shadowed beneath his heavy bangs, and his hands clenched tight.

'_Please Gods, don't do this to me. Don't make me.' _

Kagome lay arranged in a comfortable position, the blue aura now replaced by one of inter-mixing hues of purple and pink. Kaede had instructed Miroku to assist her in bolstering her sister's flagging spell. Beneath the shifting colors, Kagome remained still and perfect. She was like Snow White, having bitten into the poison apple. Only this time, the kiss from her prince wouldn't awaken her.

'_I can't use that damn wish! On her dying breath, she asked me not to. Right after she told me… she loved me.'_

Shippou approached the spiritual shield and looked down on the girl he so desperately wished would get better. His face scrunched up against the pain inside. Suddenly, he wailed and scampered out the entrance of the hut into the depths of the night.

"Oh Mama!"

Inuyasha started at the sound of his piping voice. For a moment he gazed after Shippou, watching the mat covering the door sway to a standstill. He looked to where Kagome lay, still and peaceful.

Kaede and the others looked on in surprise as he turned and followed the small demon through the door. Sango shuddered and buried herself even deeper into Miroku's robes, and he squeezed, an instinctive expression of comfort. He caught Kohaku's confused gaze and shook his head slightly.

He watched the troubled youth lean back and close his eyes, an anxious expression hovering about his features.

'_He has suffered so much. This is the time when he should be healing, yet he is forced to observe yet more suffering inflicted by Naraku. Buddha, if this is karma, then we must have been the most evil of people.'_

He clutched the demon huntress closer. She would not want anyone, especially her brother, to witness her sorrow. He looked to Kaede, who sat calmly monitoring her charge's condition. Concentrating, he channeled an extra surge of power into the shield. Her eye darted to meet his as she gave the slightest inclination of her head, a kind smile softening the lines age had wrought in her face. He returned the gesture, angling himself to study the silent priestess standing by the entrance of the hut.

Kikyou's face remained composed, but there seemed the slightest edge of distress tightening her perfect mouth. He could only wonder at what thoughts ran through her mind. He himself was as lost as he had ever been. Not since he had begun his training for priesthood had his focus scattered so. It required intense control just to channel his spiritual power to protect their sleeping princess.

Kaede sighed, reaching out to re-arrange Kagome's hair. She smoothed it, then slid her hand down to test her pulse. Nothing.

If anything, Kagome was fading faster. Her soul slipped farther and farther into the realm of death, leaving her friends to grieve.

* * *

Shippou came to his senses slowly, blinking against the setting sun. He still lay cocooned in the warmth of his mother, but a soft, lilting sound had awoken him. Kagome was gently stroking his back, humming to herself as she gazed at the magnificent sunset. Her face was lined with salty tear tracks and occasionally her breath would hitch on a sob. Apprehensive, he pressed closer; searching her face for a sign of what had upset her. 

His slight movement caught her attention, and she offered a gentle smile, attempting to disguise her pain.

"Okaa-san, Daijobu?" His instinctive question caught her breath in a swift rush. He covered his mouth. How could he have been so bold. Why-oh-why had he addressed her as 'Mother'!

After a few moments waiting for a response that never came, Shippou loosened his tight grip on his run-away mouth. He sat up and inched closer. Daring greatly, he reached up and gently patted her cheek.

"Mama… Are you all right?" He ventured again. She smoothed his hair with a trembling hand.

_Mother… _

Looking into the small face which gazed so intently into hers, she softly resumed her humming. Kagome opened her mouth, and the voice of an angel sounded clear and silky. He looked into the eyes of the girl he considered his mother, enraptured.

"John, I love you,

I'm ever so fond of you.

Will you wait for me,

Till I am heavenly?

Oh, there's much more to do.

But I love you.

Oh, you're tender, your names a whisper."

Kagome's voice grew in strength as she continued, pouring out her emotions into the foreign tune. Shippou did not know what to make of the exotic words, but the feelings invested the strange tongue were intense. Once he had viewed a traveling band of actors, and their warbling screeches and cries had nearly driven him to tears. This was different… This was beautiful.

The noises in the woods faded as the song traveled through the green interior. A pair of snowy white ears twitched in response, and swiveled to follow the gorgeous notes.

"I let tears fall like rain,

Apple-sized, they were all there,

And through all of those times,

When you could have died,

This is what you will find."

She grew quieter, but more passionate. She bent down and sang into his ear, her breath tickling his sensitive skin. It felt as though magic was woven into those words.

A tentative hand moved aside the underbrush, the better to see the singing girl. The breath caught in Inuyasha's lungs as he viewed Kagome, cradling Shippou as though he were a babe to be coddled.

"There's life outside your mother's garden,

There's life beyond your wildest dreams,

There haven't been any explosions,

We're not spinning like Dorothy."

When Kagome stood, Shippou tumbled out of her arms to land on his feet, gazing up in wonder at her. She gave him a bittersweet smile, inclining her head and sang freely, loudly.

He didn't know why she sang. All he heard was their story. Love. Love, and so much sorrow. Inuyasha's mouth tugged downward as his heart gave an unmistakable lurch.

"If you look out, then you'll you see why,

Don't be afraid to cry,

This time, don't let yourself fly.

Child…"

The tempo increased, and she swept Shippou up into her arms, throwing and catching him. They spun giddily about, Kagome crooning all the while.

She always seemed to be the one who knew what to do. Kagome was like his rock in a tide of uncertainty. To see her so wild, so uncertain... It made him nervous, made him think. What would he do if she slipped away?

"Pick up those dancing shoes,

Kick off your wedding blues,

These are the ways you can chose."

The world was a blur; nothing but her grinning face was solid in the swirling mass of color. Shippou's tiny hands clutched her arms for all he was worth, an irrepressible grin spread from the feeling in the pit of his stomach. He giggled, laughing wildly as it tickled away at his insides.

Inuyasha watched the pair, traveling in tight circles around the base of the God tree. His heart was pounding, trying to escape from his chest.

"Child…

You're tender, your names a whisper."

Shippou would never forget that instant, with her hair wildly whipping about her tear-stained face, reddened eyes full of so many emotions, the dying sunlight giving her a halo of gold. The maelstrom of colors surrounding them could not touch the beauty of the one who had returned his childhood to him.

The image of the dying sun, painting them with colors both brilliant and dark as two voices raised in joy, burned itself into his mind continued further, till it was imprinted on his soul. Shippou's childish laughter ringing high over Kagome's fervent voice; the harmony was so poignant he dug his claws into the palms of his hands hard to keep reaching out to them.

"There's life outside your mother's garden,

There's life beyond your wildest dreams,

There haven't been any explosions,

We're not spinning like Dorothy.

If you look out, then you'll see why,

Don't be afraid to cry,

This time, don't let yourself fly.

Child…

Pick up those dancing shoes,

Kick off your wedding blues,

These are the ways you can chose."

They slowed, dizzy and breathless. Her sweet, airy voice cracking as they fell in a boneless tumble to the ground.

Her song was ending. Inuyasha closed his eyes, holding on to the image of a mother and her child.

"Child, I love you,

I'm ever so fond of you."

She tugged Shippou into a tight embrace. He had never seen her act in such a curious, unrestrained manner. Only once in his memory had she ever raised that beautiful voice in song, and that had been when she had thought herself alone.

Shippou stretched his little arms as far as they could go, patting her back, rubbing in circles as she often did to lull him to sleep. His heart hurt, and emotions he couldn't voice raced around mindlessly. He squeezed his eyes shut against the uncertainty inside and hugged with all his might. Using the new endearment, he spoke softly, hesitantly.

"Mama…"

"Shippou, I'm fine. I just wanted to sing you this lullaby I heard when I was last at home." Kagome sniffed and pulled out of his embrace. She poked his pointy little nose playfully; his eyes crossed and he squealed. "You made me think of my mama. Last time when I was home she was playing this foreign song. It seemed to be her favorite. That night, when I went to bed, she came in to wish me a good night. She sat beside me in the dark and smoothed my hair. Then she started to sing. Mama hadn't sung to me in forever, and it made me feel like a little girl again." Her eyes seemed to see far away, viewing a past that lay in his future.

Memories of Shippou's mother humming an old ballad to help him sleep on restless nights sprang up. Nearby in the woods, Inuyasha closed his eyes, vaguely recalling the ditty his mother had comforted him with when he was sick or uncomfortable.

Sighing, she pulled him close. "I know you miss your mama. I just… I don't know if I can be that for you. I'm only fifteen and I never even see my own mother anymore. Let's not even talk about my lack of responsibility! I'm definitely not a good role model. I mean, I'm barely passing in school!" Kagome heaved another sigh and flopped back onto the grassy hill. Shippou rolled over to sit beside her and began to tear up a fallen leaf.

"Kagome," he ventured, "I don't care about that stuff. I still don't even know for sure what school is." Here he scratched his head. Shrugging, he continued. "You saved me, way back then. Nobody would have taken in an orphan youkai like me. I… probably would have died," he trailed off. Kagome moved her head so she could see him. He was looking at the shreds of the leaf in his hands and a dark expression had settled on his young face. Frowning, she propped herself up on her elbows.

"Careful. If you make ugly faces, they'll freeze and you'll be stuck like that forever."

Shippou looked at her strangely, and she grinned. "See? I'm too weird. If you were my son, I'd let you stay up late at night, and feed you chocolate all the time." He sat, pondering with intensity unusual for his age. After a moment, his face lit up.

"You give me pocky, and I always go to bed whenever I want. So you already act like you're my mama!" He smirked triumphantly. Kagome sighed. She didn't have it in her to battle him over this right now. Later… She was just too relaxed presently. Releasing pent up emotions had really taken it out of her. She felt wonderful. Letting herself fall back down into the grass, she inhaled deeply through her nose, breathing in the fragrant scent of flowers. _'What a perfect day.'_

Inuyasha sat, silently musing. He was so deeply in thought, he didn't notice when Shippou caught his scent on the air and trotted towards his hiding spot…

* * *

Inuyasha followed the odor of salty tears. It wound a convoluted path through the underbrush. Often the branches and leaves of plant had been trampled blindly. His red-clad form ghosted silently after the fox-kit. Black brows met as his eyes darkened to a hard amber. He couldn't let the fox-kit go off alone like this. _'It isn't safe. Kagome'll have my hea-' _His train of thought came to a screeching halt. 

'_Kagome will never have anything from me. She doesn't want the only damn thing I can give her. My wish.'_

He slowed, coming to stop. His heart beat heavy as he extracted the Shikon no tama from his thick fire-rat haori. Gazing into its crystalline depths, he wondered. Was Kagome's mind unclouded by the poison of Naraku, or had she known what she was saying?

'_Had she known?'_

Shaking himself roughly, Inuyasha shoved the cause of all his misfortune back into his undershirt. Shippou was alone and defenseless. He had to find him. Turning on his heels, he abruptly sprang into the trees, quivering leaves the only sign of his passage.

Finally he emerged from the dense foliage. Shippou had returned to the site of one of his happiest memories of Kagome. One that he unwittingly shared with Inuyasha. The Goshinboku… Inuyasha's dream-like time in the company of Kagome had begun at this very place. Many times, painful or joyous, they had come together under its majestic branches.

Slowly he approached the sobbing kit. Shippou had tucked himself into the roots of the massive tree, curling in on himself. He did not notice the appearance of the dog-demon until he was lifted gently into the air by the scruff of his neck. Inuyasha stared down into his tear-filled eyes, looking like an angry thunderstorm. Shippou drew himself up as well as he could and shouted at him.

"Go '_way_! I don't wanna talk to _you_ or _anyone_!" He threw a half-hearted fistful of fox-fire at the wall of Inuyasha's chest, but the dog-demon didn't even have the decency to flinch. Seeing how his only defense had no effect, Shippou's bluster wavered and fell flat. His lip quivered, and he was close to breaking down again when he felt himself scooped into the crook of the hanyou's arm.

Inuyasha leapt upwards and settled himself on his favorite branch, looking out into the surrounding trees, refusing to meet the startled kit's eyes. Instead, he began to speak softly, his normally harsh voice taking on a surprisingly conversational tone.

"You're gettin' careless. I crept right up on you, and you never noticed. Kagome would scold you like nothing else if she knew you had left yourself defenseless like that. Do you really think she would want you to be so miserable that you could get yourself killed?" He paused, and when he spoke again, it seemed as though his voice was being dragged from his body.

"She's too damn important to you… To me…" Gruffly he looked down into Shippou's wide eyes. Huffing at the lack of understanding he found there, he tried again. "Look, I ain't one for heart-to-heart speeches. You know I usually leave this shit to Miroku. But Kagome…" he paused, his bangs shadowing his eyes, "She wouldn't want anything to happen to us just 'cause we're all stupid over her… She wouldn't want people in danger 'cause of her."

Shippou sat for a long moment in the awkward hold of the hanyou. He didn't know what to say, and he wasn't sure he understood what Inuyasha was trying to tell him. The memory of Kagome's smile flitted briefly across his mind. Her song drifted past him, a mere whisper of notes etched in his soul. Shippou looked into the face of the hanyou that had frustrated her, protected her, and most of all, loved her.

The scent of ginger, orange blossoms, and lemon lingered in his mind. Shippou gazed out into the surrounding night, then upwards to the stars. His adopted mother wasn't perfect. But she was everything to him, and now she was gone, just like his parents.

He sneaked a glance out of the corner of his eye. Inuyasha sat, silent and somewhat foreboding. Yet he knew, from those times when Kagome drew Inuyasha from his shell, that he had a gentle side. Once or twice he had demonstrated just how much he cared for his companions.

An example of such; tonight, as the woman he loves lies dying, he chased a foolish child into the woods. In the last hours of her life, he left her side to help an orphan struggle with the pain of losing someone. It made his sad little heart glad to be the recipient of the hanyou's gruff affection. Shippou suddenly realized the big idiot had been trying to help him, in his clumsy way.

Inuyasha stiffened when he felt Shippou wiggle closer to him. He looked down into the little face full of resolve.

"Inuyasha, you never make any sense. If I let an oaf like you wander around, you're sure to get yourself into trouble. Look, Kagome loves me, and she loves you. I know. I won't run off again." For a moment he hesitated, considering. Though logic told him it would not be well received, he hugged Inuyasha.

Inuyasha's hard eyes softened. He sat for a moment, unmoving as he took in the distant stars and the tiny body pressed to his chest. Sighing, he leaned down and returned the desperate embrace. Moments passed as the two demons reached out past the walls life had forced them to build around their hearts.

'_With the trust placed in me, I have to choose. I have to choose for her, and for all those who love her.'_

* * *

"What the fuck was that all about, bitch? Why the hell did you sit me?" 

"You shouldn't be so rude! How dare you eavesdrop on us like that!"

"Keh… whatever. If you haven't noticed, I ain't bein' _rude_," here there was a high-pitched squeak of indignation over the imitation. "I'm just asking a fuckin' question, and I didn't fuckin' eavesdrop! You didn't notice me because you have such weak human senses!"

"My senses are not weak! I can sense a demon almost as well as you can. I was just distracted! And how does foul language constitute an intelligent query?"

"Huh? What the hell did you just say?"

"Oh, so you can't understand anything other than swearing? Then let me make this clear. Stop with the _fucking_ insults and don't _fucking_ eavesdrop, you goddamn son of a toad demon, or else I'll rip your fucking ears _off_!"

Golden eyes blinked in utter astonishment. Mouth working soundlessly, Inuyasha watched Kagome as she flounced past him, pushing her bike and carrying that ridiculously large yellow backpack. He'd never heard her talk like that before.

"You must have really annoyed her. Geez Inuyasha, if you keep insulting her like that, she'll be leaving you for Kouga next time he shows up. Oh, and I'm gonna have to remember to use some of those insults the next time you're mean to me."

"You obnoxious, snot-nosed little rat! Hey! Get back here, you coward!"

The last rays of the sun caressed the arguing group as they traveled through the rice fields to the village. Kagome watched with quiet amusement as Inuyasha chased the taunting Shippou down the path to Kaede's hut. She smiled, hands steady on the handlebars of her bike. Guess she just needed to let out a little steam… Inuyasha sure was a good stress reliever. '_Like one of those little toys you squeeze until they look fit to pop!' _She giggled at the analogy to the grumpy hanyou, then sighed happily.

The golden tint cast beautiful reflections on the still water, turning them to molten pools of precious metal. What a beautiful day. She turned her face upwards, enjoying the faint heat, and studied the sunset.

How better to end a perfect day than in the company of the friends you adore?

* * *

A/N- Credit for the song included in this chapter goes to Sinead O'Connor. 

P.S. Naimh is my hero… I worship you to the ends of the earth.


	3. The Thief of Your Heart

**Life's Menagerie**

A/N- Thank you to my reviewers... Surprisingly, I actually have a few. I now have a beta, the infamous LilacRose23. Thanks as well to her. Unfortunately, she tells me grammar is not her strong point, so you will still have to suffer through the agony of misspellings. Oh, and on the rush beta-ing job, Naimh is once again my savior. This story is going to get far worse before it gets better. I can't be certain, but I believe the most depressing chapters are going to be the next few. I recommend tissues and tragic/wistful music.

Paige's Disclaimer- Your face! Yeah, that's right! Wanna fight? I'll cutcha:Holds up her fist and makes stabbing motions:

* * *

**Chapter Three- _The Thief of Your Heart_**

_Optima dies… prima fugit_

_The best days are the first to flee_

* * *

Silence had spread across the village. It lay heavy in the rice fields, and blanketed the forest. Even the animals were unusually quiet, reacting to the atmosphere created by the anxious humans. A tension wound itself ever tighter. For days now, the emotions in the village had built, suspended. They watched and waited for word from their healer.

Should someone exit the hut, they were anxiously interrogated by worried villagers. All except two. The half-demon they did not dare approach. His countenance was dark, and he came and left in hurried motions, as though every second spent away from his miko's side was too precious to part with.

The other was the priestess Kikyou. They did not know what to make of her. Was she an undead fiend from hell bent on exacting revenge, or was she the Kikyou from memory, kind and caring? They gave her a wide berth, careful not to meet her eyes. No one dared to approach except for her sister Kaede. Even that contact was sporadic, as the elderly miko's attention was consumed in caring for the dying girl.

The wait dragged on and on, and each day the news became grimmer and grimmer. Infinitesimally, minuscule inch by minuscule inch, Kagome slipped further away. The hanyou came out of the hut less frequently as time wore on, and Kikyou drifted away more often. There seemed to be a rift between the two, one that gradually widened the worse Kagome became. The very air surrounding the hut was somber and filled with a pervading sadness; underneath it was a feeling of bitterness and resentment.

It happened in the early hours of the morning, in those half-lit moments before the sun truly rises.

Her death had been announced by a chorus of anguished cries. They had risen higher and higher, a blood-chilling dissonance, heralding the loss of one of the pack. All had heard those throbbing calls; children had covered their ears and cried for their mothers, men bowed their heads respectfully, and the forest creatures seemed to hush.

Everyone went about their daily routine, but it was with little true effort, as though all their energy and interest had been sucked away. Animals were left unattended, tasks dropped in various stages of completion, as they gathered to watch a mournful figure exit the village with his precious cargo.

Inuyasha strode slowly towards the Bone-Eaters Well, walking past rice paddies and the still figures of the men and women working them. He was to return the fallen miko to her family centuries in the future. He stared fixedly in front, refusing to acknowledge the hushed crowd. As he passed, the various peoples bowed in respect. It was a fitting tribute to the one who had protected their village time and again, and recognition of the grief of the one who had loved her most.

He passed through their solid lines slowly, and they fell away like autumn leaves behind him, silent and mournful. As he moved out of the village, the other members of the traveling band stepped out of the hut that contained her body in her final days. Their desolate gazes followed him as he made his way into the woods, lingering as he disappeared into the greenery.

Miroku stood tall and solid as Sango watched from his side. She held the inconsolable Shippou in the crook of her elbow and placed another arm around her younger brother's shoulders. Her dark eyes held pain and self loathing. She had regained everything, while Inuyasha had only lost…

Turning, she reentered the hut, no longer able to maintain her composure.

She noted upon entering that Kikyou had elegantly arranged herself in a corner, having begun a meditative trance. However, it seemed it was an unsuccessful attempt to clear her mind. Her eyes flicked rapidly beneath her closed lids, and her breathing was unsteady. Sango glanced in her direction, then shuffled towards the back of the hut, searching for something, _anything_, to distract herself with.

Finding a pile of half-mended clothing, she settled herself stiffly on the ground. She took a needle and carefully attempted to thread it. The task was made hard by her blurred vision. Wiping impatiently at her overworked ducts, she berated herself. The practical exterminator was not one for having emotional break-downs in front of people she considered treacherous. Glancing in Kikyou's direction, she finally managed to thread the needle. She began to make neat, even stitches in the fabric.

A strange noise came from the side of the hut, and Sango glanced up sharply, tensing. Nothing threatening met her gaze; only the calm face of the priestess. Dismissing it as a hallucination stemming from her grief, she returned to her work. It was a full minute before what she had seen registered in her mind. Slowly, she tilted her head towards Kikyou. She had to be sure of what she had witnessed. When Sango caught a glimpse of Kikyou's face again, she turned to stare openly at the meditating priestess.

'_Was she… _

_Where those… tear tracks?'_

* * *

Kaede had prepared a spell for Kagome to put off the eventual reality of death. She remained as one barely alive, only the faintest feel of warmth to her body. It would be too much for the grieving to see the disturbing truth of her passing. Time was not kind to the dead, and their wounds were still too raw to watch her fall prey to its indifferent clutches.

Inuyasha memorized Kagome's pale features as he walked through the forest. Stroking a shaking finger along the smooth curve of her cheek, he attempted to slow his rapid breathing. The faintest blush of color remained, held there due to the Kaede's spell. She seemed as though she were merely sleeping. He shuddered, his heart clenching painfully. This sleep was for an eternity.

He tucked Kagome's limp form further into the folds of his huge fire rat kimono. Wrapped in the bright folds of the red material, her face took an even more ghostly cast. The vitality which had made up her true character was absent, leaving her empty and cold. The calm, expressionless face resembled another, one just as dear to him.

'_Kikyou…' _

Unable to gaze at the hollow beauty of her face any longer, he turned his gaze in the direction of the well. Running, he could have reached it in seconds flat. From long practice, an easy drop into the well, a quick passage through time and he would emerge into the strange world of the future. Instead he trudged along, measuring each step and finding it much too walk. One could not blame him for his reluctance. Upon his arrival, he faced the monumental task of informing Kagome's family. To add salt to his wounds, he would then be forced to leave Kagome far in the future, never to see her again.

Her last words were a mantra in his mind. Over and over they slid through his thoughts. He couldn't escape from them, or the sound of her last, struggling breaths. She had said she loved him. Then she had asked him not to make a wish. But what was the wish she had not wanted him to grant?

He had not forgotten the moment in which Kikyou, calling out from the depths of her reincarnation, begging him not to say her name. He had already brought a woman he loved back to a life she did not want. Had Kagome meant that somehow, an attempt to resurrect her using the jewel would go wrong? If so, how had she known?

That manner of thought brought him to the root of his pain. How had he not seen how serious her wound had been! She had not displayed much pain, and it had only fueled his rage, blinding him against the truth. His oversight had cost Kagome her life. _'Why didn't she tell me? It never would have come to this.' _His eyes stung and he fought to keep from keening.

'_Damn her!' _

Kagome's thick lashes lay still on her porcelain face as hot tears splashed down onto her cool skin. Inuyasha's shoulders shook with suppressed agony, a wordless cry of pain striving for freedom in his chest. All that emerged was a low growling whine, accompanied by the occasional harsh intake of air. His ears flattened to his skull, and his face was edged with dark lines of grief.

He was going against everything inside of himself. His heart screamed for him to stop right there and use the jewel he kept by his heart to restore Kagome's life. Inuyasha's mind coldly told him to go to Sesshomaru for the sword, regardless of what it would do to Kikyou. But his soul, his soul was the worst of all. Inuyasha's soul was mute. All the joy and happiness so recently returned to his life had been sucked away, and nothing could fill the aching void that was caused by Kagome's absence.

A throbbing pain brought him back to himself. Looking down, he saw he had smashed his legs into the side of the Bone-Eaters Well. He had been so lost in his inner turmoil that he had arrived at his destination without noticing. Now he stared into the darkness contained by those solid oaken walls. Inuyasha was gazing at the most terrifying precipice of his life. It was a small drop, nothing to his strong tempered muscles… Yet he hesitated.

His gaze drifted back to the girl held close in his arms. So much of him would remain with her. Inuyasha had secretly given her everything he thought precious in this world. His thoughts, his heart, his very essence… They all ached for the love of her.

He had given her his trust, something that no one had truly earned before.

No, he would not make the wish. He would not harm her. Never again. Kagome had honored him by bestowing him with her love, and he would not sully that. To make the same mistake twice would be to do a grave wrong to her and the memory she left behind. The women he loved had suffered horribly because of him. Inuyasha would honor all his promises and grant their requests.

Gently shifting Kagome to one arm, he roughly dried his face. To go to her family weeping was the way of a coward. He would not dishonor Kagome by crying like some young and inexperienced child. Gathering her close, Inuyasha stepped onto the lip of the well. Pausing, he inclined his head, and gazed at her face. Gently as the butterfly that had caressed her hair that long summer day past, he brushed his lips against hers. A farewell.

Inuyasha stepped into the darkness that awaited him with dry eyes and an empty heart.

* * *

Dark lashes opened to reveal eyes that calmly assessed the world. Kikyou surveyed the room, noting the absence of the two younger boys and the monk. Her sister, she remembered, had excused herself to tend to the mourning villagers. The only one that remained in the small hut was the demon exterminator, who was mending a yutaka with a small rip in the hem. Her eyes were red from weeping, but she seemed remarkably self-possessed.

Sango glanced up as Kikyou straightened and loosened her muscles. As the she moved about gathering her bow and arrows, she felt the taijiya's gaze follow her. Stepping to the door, she lifted the tatami mat covering the entrance. Pausing, she coolly glanced back to meet the woman's gaze.

What greeted her was not what she expected. Sango met her eyes, not breaking the contact in embarrassment as many would have. For a moment, her slightly swollen russet eyes studied Kikyou, judging and measuring. Kikyou straightened regally under the inspection. She would not be found lacking, certainly not by a mere exterminator.

Finishing her perusal, Sango then gave the startled priestess the most gentle, understanding smile she had ever received. It was a gesture of sympathy and strangely, pity. It was one that confused the reserved miko. With that, Sango returned to her sewing, seemingly unaffected but for the lingering smile. Flustered, the normally impassive priestess hurriedly exited.

That look… Why? Was she such a pathetic creature that she deserved the pity of a young woman who had lost her village, her family, and almost her life?

Threading her way through the huts, she avoided the stares of the villagers. They were neither hostile nor welcoming. She knew they were questioning why she lived and their beloved idol did not.

Upon reaching the tranquility of the woods, she gave a soft sigh of relief. It was not like her to become so emotional. It could only stem from the death of the girl. Everything and everyone around her had been affected. Inuyasha had not spoken more than a dozen words to her since their arrival at the village. He had been consumed with worry over Kagome, not even sparing Kikyou a glance. Even her sister seemed to have aged a dozen years since the girl's passing.

What the miko needed was to clear her mind. Her earlier meditation had been largely unproductive. The sentiments of those around her were amazingly strong, intruding on the solitude and order of her sensitive mind.

Walking swiftly, she searched out her place of reflection from old: the Goshinboku. But as she neared it, she sensed the presence of others. Eyes narrowing, Kikyou cautiously approached the God Tree, testing the auras surrounding it as she readied an arrow. She had been hunted by demons for so long it was natural to take precautions, even in the safest of places. Once she could see the creatures within the clearing, Kikyou deemed there was little that could be considered threatening about them. It was merely the monk and his three charges. He was holding court at the base of the tree, regaling his rapt audience with humorous adventures.

It was a perfect distraction for the young ones, keeping them from brooding overmuch on their grief. Kikyou was about to slip away when her ears caught a story that riveted her to the spot.

"Inuyasha never admitted his love for Kagome, though. Stubborn as he was, he would not take the happiness offered him by Kagome, and instead clung to his honor. Such a fool; he wasted the chance of a lifetime." Miroku's eyes went briefly dreamy as he pondered just what Inuyasha had been missing out on when he rejected the lovely Kagome.

At Shippou's high-pitched laugh and Kohaku's more tentative chuckle, he snapped back to himself. Shaking off the pleasant reverie, he grinned roguishly.

"Ah yes, a fool to ignore the beautiful maiden before him. But alas, as heroes always do, he insisted that he honor his promise to the resurrected priestess." Here his indigo eyes visibly darkened, but he covered it with a brilliant smile. "The fair Kagome persisted however, much to his secret delight. I know one thing," Miroku said, leaning in and placing a finger to his nose conspiratorially. "I know that he loves her, and always will. Kikyou may have his soul, but not his heart. That shall forever remain in the tender care of the Lady Kagome."

Kikyou felt her eyes burn with the remembered sting of tears. Furious, she strode away, barely managing to remain unnoticed by the chattering trio. How dare that impertinent monk make judgments such as that. He knew nothing of what Inuyasha felt, nothing! And why, in the name of all the gods, did she even _care_ what he said? He was comforting small boys, not mocking the woman hidden in the trees.

The souls within her stirred restlessly, roused by her violent upsurge of emotions. They had remained silent since their capture, content in the calm sea of her emptiness. With the many strong emotions swirling about though, vague recollections of past joys and failures rose within them. They clamored for control, wanting to return to their journey to the next world, beckoned by the promise of passion and life.

Kikyou soothed them, lulling them back into their quiet slumber, reminding them of the pain of living, promising as always that soon, soon they would rest forever. Struggling to control the delicate balance within that allowed her to continue to exist, Kikyou brooded.

It was not the death of the girl that had caused her loss of restraint. No, this disturbance roiled up from deep within. Indeed it was something much closer to her heart.

It was the realization that Inuyasha no longer loved her.

So simple, so searing that she had tried to dismiss it as merely her awareness of others. Kikyou cringed, shaking her head wildly. Never… _Never!_ He had promised himself to her! Her shaking increased until her entire body quivered.

Suddenly, she broke into a run, ignoring the branches and twigs lashing at her perfect skin and tearing into her clothing. The forest blurred about her, its noises fading into oblivion. Kikyou ran, blinded by her anger and a growing feeling of cold desperation. The souls roused again, but this time she smothered them with her surge of rage.

A small part of her mind told her she was being irrational, and possibly placing herself in danger, but it didn't matter. Kikyou was running from the truth, and there was no escape.

Running for what seemed like ages, she burst into a clearing filled with tall wild grasses. Weaving a convoluted path through them, she stumbled and finally collapsed at the side of a placid lake. She dragged air into her lungs. Her pain doubled in intensity as she realized that in this make-shift body, she had to concentrate to cry, squeezing the moisture from within. She did not even need to breathe. The earth and bones that formed her substance were only a shaped human form. She was nothing more than a facsimile of life.

Kneeling at the edge of the still water, she dropped forward onto her hands to gaze at her shimmering reflection. The crystalline depths reflected the face of a woman not of this world, one who was trying to keep something that was no longer hers.

Kikyou cried out and smashed the image away with her hand. Water cascaded outwards, drenching her. The ripples from her explosion spread and touched the sides of the lake, reflecting back in ever widening circles. She fell into the long grasses surrounding the lake side. Dry, heaving gasps dragged in and out of her gaping mouth. The intensity of her pain begged for release, but she had none.

Curling in on herself, Kikyou struggled to justify the need for her existence in this world.

"I died for him! I **died** for him! It wasn't fair. Who deserves justice and love more than I?"

'_As did she… Besides, her death stemmed from her protection of him. Yours came from your desire for vengeance.'_

"We didn't know! Naraku tricked us. Why should he love her more? Why should she matter more! I'm stronger, faster, more powerful… I'm greater than she is or ever was!"

'_Are you? Then why is it they grieve so much her, and pay you no heed? The villagers who once idolized you are now wary and uncertain. Your own sister believes you to be nothing more than a shell of life, an abomination.'_

"He loves me, and that's all that's ever mattered! He loved me first!"

'_But did you love him? Did you declare it on your dying breath?'_

The insidious voice of her conscience destroyed her every defense, leaving her weak and vulnerable to the truth. Yes, Kikyou-sama, the miko of incredible power, grace, and beauty, had once held the heart of the infamous hanyou, Inuyasha. Once upon a time, they had vowed to live together. But their chance was stolen by an envious demon, Naraku.

Fifty years after their battle, Inuyasha awakened to an innocent. The girl with large, grey-blue eyes and a loving heart so full that it spilled over, bathing all who came close with a radiance the sun would envy. She had returned his life to him. She had traveled with him, healed his broken spirit, and in the process discovered his love.

Inuyasha had not forsaken the woman he first cherished, but from that day forward, he had striven to protect the thief of his heart.

She had had her chance. The Kikyou Inuyasha had first loved should never have returned to this world. Fate had granted them that time together, and had then brought them together again. Kikyou's soul had returned to Inuyasha in the form of Kagome. Her revival by the witch was false, a lie. She shouldn't have ever existed, not like this.

"**_WHY?_**" Kikyou's scream of anguish begged the heavens to answer.

She lay broken, a remnant of a past that no longer was. She called out her denial, screamed it, cried it, murmured it, but none heard nor cared. She shared her agony with an indifferent world. How long she lay near that glassy lake, cocooned in the soft grasses, she did not know. It seemed an eternity that she remained there, facing the reality of her artificial existence.

As the day grew to a close, Kikyou quieted. Darkness descended slowly, and the creatures of the night replaced those of the vivid day. In her nest of grasses, every thing was painted in with a fine tipped brush dipped in ink. The lines were softened by a gentle stroke of a water-filled brush, spreading grey shadows across the world. The fireflies emerged, dancing above her head.

In this gentle silence, she finally found peace. There was still hope, carried on the wings of those placid fairy lights.

Kikyou rose slowly, her normally impeccable hair in disarray. Her clothes were mussed and torn, and she was covered in clinging pieces of straw and remained slightly damp from her earlier outburst. Slowly, her head rose. Eyes the color and intensity of a wintry sea scrutinized her surroundings.

'_Inuyasha… You have chosen to honor your promises. I shall honor mine.'_

* * *

A/N- Yes, Kikyou is a sympathetic character. I'm not on the "she's-an-evil-bitch" bandwagon. 


	4. One Cold Autumn Day

**Life's Menagerie**

A/N- This is not the typical "happily-ever-after" scenario. It gets boring after a while… You need something new to spice things up.

I also want to know if the rating should be upped to R, due to swearing and the possibility of sexual innuendo. Personally, I think 13-year-olds are exposed to much worse than this on TV, but I also don't the story removed by an irate parent.

Thanks to all reviewers. Also, to the infallible LilacRose23, The Xenocide, and Naimh St. George, much appreciation and wishes for many reviews upon your stories.

Disclaimer- This is but a dream within a dream.

* * *

**Chapter Four- _One Cold Autumn Day…_**

_You walked away_

_into a sunset painted gold._

_Frost rimmed kiss _

_of sweet burgundy lips._

_Whipped by an icy wind_

_into colors of a wintry bend._

_Saccharine indulgence _

_dying on your breath,_

_fading to a dim farewell._

* * *

Inuyasha stood in the dank darkness of the shrine's well house. His heart was beating loudly in his ears as he automatically moved forward. The steps facing him seemed to stretch for an eternity; yet climbing them would have taken no more than a blink of an eye. Advancing, he began to ascend them, careful not to shift the precious girl cradled in his arms.

He stepped into the cold autumn air, and paused to take in his surroundings. The wide, sprawling courtyard had been meticulously swept, but a few stray leaves had drifted down to litter its stone surface.

The shrine itself stood strong and solid, a bastion of warmth in the chilly air. A cold breeze ruffled the leaves of the Goshinboku and played with Inuyasha's hair. He shivered and pulled Kagome closer.

It didn't matter that she would never feel the cold again, nor suffer from the harsh sun, or shiver from a sudden rainstorm. He had protected her for so long… Even with her death, he could not stop.

Inuyasha began to pace slowly across the icy stones, his bare feet slapping lightly onto the rock. The sky was gray above him, and the air carried the promise of a killing frost. It was fitting; he did not know if he would have been able to stand a cheerful sunny day. Not with the tasks before him. The numbness within him lay untouched by the bitter cut of the wind.

As he stepped before the door of the house, Inuyasha sent a final, searching prayer upwards.

'_Please, don't let the little kid be here. I can't see another little one cry…'_

Breathing deeply, his face set itself into a determined mask. There was no room for feeling; to feel meant suffering, and he had done plenty of that. Shifting Kagome so he could hold her with one arm, Inuyasha raised his hand to knock on the door.

As his fist met the wood, he felt the strangest sensation of déjà vu, even though he had never before entered the house in the common manner. Always, he had hopped in through Kagome's window. Shaking it off, he bleakly rapped again. Inuyasha hated feeling. It was better to be empty inside…

Inuyasha's ears flicked forward at the sound of pattering footsteps. His eyes narrowed.

'_Please_…'

The door was eased open. Kagome's mother's smiling gaze met his own despairing eyes. Immediately her cheery manner fell. Stepping forward, she opened her mouth as if to question him. Wordlessly, he stopped her, holding out Kagome's still form. Her shocked gasp, followed by her cry of desperate denial were mere background noises to Inuyasha. Events happened with a strange feeling of fantasy. Nothing was real to him.

Inuyasha moved mechanically into the house, still carrying Kagome. Her mother had collapsed against the wall. She sat there, eyes wide and unseeing, shaking her head in a desperate refusal of the truth.

He moved towards the back of the house, the wooden halls fading into the backdrop of his grief. As if in a dream, the stairs melted away before him, and he arrived at the entrance of Kagome's room. Stepping into this bastion of femininity, he paused. Kagome's presence was everywhere and if he closed his eyes, he could hear her laughter.

Suddenly he was standing before the bed. Inuyasha did not know when he had moved. He felt like he was losing his mind. Ever so slowly, he bent over, gently placing Kagome on the bed. He arranged her so that she lay straight, with her arms loosely placed across her waist.

Inuyasha lingered there a moment, drinking in the sight of her face. He placed his trembling, clawed hand on one of hers. Her slight, cool hand folded easily into his. For a brief second, in her warm and welcoming room, it seemed as though she would awaken. Closing his eyes, he could see her. Her eyelids would flutter, then slide slowly upwards. Seeing him there, she would smile weakly, then give his hand the smallest squeeze.

Inuyasha was brought back to himself at the sound of weeping. He rose and turned to face Mrs. Higurashi. Standing there, his hands hanging loose at his sides, he awaited her judgment. No matter what excuses, what explanations, he had failed. She had entrusted Kagome to him, the entire family had. He had failed…

Mrs. Higurashi, her eyes overflowing with tears, looked to the hanyou before her. His face was so empty, so blank. Those strong broad shoulders that had always seem to carry the burden of life so effortlessly, now sagged beneath the tremendous load. Golden eyes, usually so full of energy and overconfidence, were tormented pools of molten bronze. He stared into nothing, seemingly awaiting condemnation from above.

Soft steps across the carpet were muffled, but sounded like the drumming of an executioner to Inuyasha. He did not know if he could bear Kagome's mother's righteous anger. The gods knew he was weak enough to break before this slight woman, so formidable in her grief. He tensed as she stopped before him, waiting for the inevitable explosion of rage and questions.

Instead, he felt two strong arms slide around him, and then pull him into a comforting hug. He stood eyes wide and staring, arms lax at his sides. Mrs. Higurashi made comforting noises in the back of her throat, and patted his back soothingly. She smiled up into his staring golden eyes, a watery smile that even in its grief was warm.

"It's all right, little one. It'll be okay."

At the sound of those words, Inuyasha's restraint broke. His arms came up to enfold her in an intense hug. He held onto the delicate woman as though she were all that held him to this existence. A keening howl of grief sprang free, filling the house with its mournful echoes. She grasped him just as strongly, tears leaking down her face, engraved onto her soul. Kagome lay upon her pink coverlet, the oblivious cause of such misery.

It was to this scene that Souta entered to. His large brown eyes widened, backpack slipping from nerveless fingers. He stared, almost wonderingly, at the sight of Inuyasha grieving into his mother's shoulder. His shocked gaze drifted until it settled on Kagome. Moving so silently that neither of the inconsolable pair noticed him, he went to her. Dropping to his knees, he reached out a gentle hand. Souta touched her face, noting the lack of movement.

"She's dead, isn't she?"

Both Mrs. Higurashi and Inuyasha whipped around. They stared, dumbstruck, at the eerily calm face of the child. Pushing himself up slowly, he straightened, still looking down at her.

"It was that demon you were fighting. Naraku," Souta stated with utter certainty. Inuyasha nodded dumbly. Mrs. Higurashi made as if to move to her son, but he shook his head. His eyes looked much too wise for his young face.

"It's okay, Mom. Kagome and I talked about this. She always said she might not make it back. She said that if she didn't, I had to be try to be strong, 'cause someday we'd meet again." Here a small smile crept onto his face. "I always laughed and made fun of her. I never believed in all that reincarnation stuff."

He moved then, like an old man. Stooping, he gathered up his backpack and walked out of the room, presumably to his own. Inuyasha and Mrs. Higurashi stood, silent and stunned. She clutched her hand to her cheek, fighting back even more tears.

"My poor, poor babies. How could I let this happen to them?"

Inuyasha turned immediately towards her. The fog surrounding his mind was dulling his reactions. He couldn't think straight. It hurt so much… He stepped forwards and tentatively raised a hand, then hesitated. The outstretched hand hovered, then slid back to his side.

"Don't think you weren't there for Kagome. She thought about you all the time. You kept her going, through all the tough shi- stuff we had to face." He had barely caught himself on the language. Kagome had constantly berated him, saying someday he would need to know how to speak well. Now he wished he had listened. How could he comfort another when he could not even express his empathy?

"I… I was the one who let this happen. I brought her home so I could explain…" Inuyasha trailed off. He couldn't say it.

'_Oi! You gonna be a weakling, here? You gonna let Kagome down? Spit out the facts, then take your damn unwanted ass out of here!'_

Inuyasha drew himself up, forcing himself to respond, to properly recount the occurrences to Kagome's mother. He still had responsibilities...

"W-We won, but Kagome was injured." Inuyasha turned his head aside, shielding himself from her grief stricken face. "You know Kagome," he smiled gently at the thought of her, then the smile faded as he returned to the present. "She wouldn't say nothin' to make everyone worry, not when they were so damn happy."

Inuyasha then faced her fully. "I… She told me… She said…" He was lost for words. How could he explain that moment, Kagome's declaration, her tremulous smile. Her instructions not to make the wish. _How_?

The moment was lost as Kagome's grandfather came charging into the room. "Souta said something had happened to Kagome, what's-" His breathless exclamation was cut off by the sight of Kagome's pale form arranged on the bed. She was still dressed in her school uniform, and she seemed small and fragile in her large pink bed, as though she had shrunk with the loss of her life. His creased face blanched an ashen white, and he seemed to diminish. All of his hot air whooshed out of him as he approached his granddaughter's still form.

"Kagome…" A brown, wrinkled hand tenderly caressed her hair. "My dear child..." He stood there for a moment, stroking her hair lovingly. Suddenly he whirled, and pointed accusingly at Inuyasha. "My granddaughter trusted you, demon! _We _trusted you, trusted you to bring her back. How could you let something happen to her! You worthless hell-spawn!"

Spittle flew from his lips as a crazed light filled his despairing eyes. Inuyasha visibly winced, but did not move as the apoplectic old man began to beat his fists off his chest. He did nothing, standing there with ears folded back upon his head. Mrs. Higurashi begged her father to stop, but he didn't listen, continuing to spout obscenities and pound upon the immovable wall of the hanyou's chest.

Abruptly the elder Higurashi went from bright red to pasty yellow. He faltered, and stumbled back. Inuyasha made as if to grasp his shoulder, but he sputtered and violently waved him off. Faltering, he fell against the wall, clutching his chest.

"Father! Where's your medication?" Mrs. Higurashi rushed to his side and struggled to support him. Inuyasha stood by, feeling useless. There was nothing he could do or say that could help. He had "helped" their family enough. He watched as Mrs. Higurashi ushered the suffering old man out of the room, holding him up as they moved towards the stairs. She sent a warning look back at Inuyasha, and a faint comment reached his sensitive ears.

"Don't you go anywhere…"

Inuyasha closed his eyes, his brows furrowed in self-loathing. He deserved this, all of this. Those who became close to him died, so it was better that he did not love. All the pain that was inflicted on him was nothing less than his karma finally catching up with him. The misery he had put others through was being returned to him tenfold, and it was as it should be. If Kagome could not live, there was no reason for him to exist happily. Not when someone as beautiful and full of vitality had died, all because of him.

He moved sluggishly to her side, and slumped beside her bed. The tears began to fall again, and he trembled, angrily wiping them away. After the death of his father, Inuyasha had never cried. Not even at the loss of his mother. Pain was nothing; there was nothing that could break him. Until Kagome. She was all that was good and bad in his life. Everything in his world revolved around her and without her… He was lost

"When did I fuckin' let you get so damn close? Mean so damn much? Fuck, little girl, what did you do to me?"

Footsteps moved behind him, but he remained oblivious. A small hand cautiously touched his shoulder, and he jerked in response. Powerful muscles bunched as he pulled in on himself, but the little hand remained. His voice emerged, harsher than usual, coarse with grief.

"What… what do you want… I can't leave yet, your ma said-" The little hand tugged insistently, and he reluctantly turned to face the one person he most dreaded.

Souta's soulful brown eyes met his desolate gaze. What he saw contained there upset him more than any protest or damnation he had yet to be subjected to. Reproach dwelled deep within those eyes, eyes that looked so much like those of his sister. They were wide and innocent, full of the life that characterized her grey-blue orbs. Facing any sort of condemnation from them was almost more than he could bear.

"Inuyasha… Don't cry in front of Kagome."

Inuyasha immediately stiffened, his pride flaring. It was the only thing left to him…

"Fuck, kid, I ain't crying."

He bared his teeth at the child, but Souta only regarded him steadily. After a time with no response, Inuyasha turned away from him.

"I take it ya' want me out. Fine. Once your mother says her piece, I'm go-" He was stopped once again by a hand on his shoulder.

"No, I don't want you out. Kagome, she wouldn't want you pushed away for any reason. I know you did all you could to help her… I know… I always talked to her when she came home. She'd spend hours talking about the adventures she went on. I know she told you she was worried about school, but really she came home to see her family." Souta twitched uncomfortably. Inuyasha listened intently, wondering.

There was so much he didn't understand, so much Kagome had never shared. What else had she felt that he never heard about?

Inuyasha shifted so that he could observe Souta out of the corner of his eye. The boy struggled with the words. For all of his earlier calm, inside he was struggling desperately to keep the tears at bay.

"You were my hero, especially when I saw how much she cared about you. Kagome had never liked anyone like that. Seeing her as happy as when she came back from being with you... Even though you always made her mad when you kept her from coming home, or dragged her away. There was this big sappy grin on her face once she got over it." Souta twisted his small hands, the sheen of tears in his luminous brown eyes threatening to overflow. He kept glancing to where his sister lay, then flicking his gaze away as though burned.

"Remember that one boy? The one whose sister died in a fire, and she came back to haunt him? It was because she thought her mama didn't love her. So, I don't want that to happen to Kagome, okay?" Souta was growing louder, and tears had finally begun to overflow down his flushed cheeks. His boyish tenor grew higher and higher, and Inuyasha flattened back his sensitive ears. What was the kid trying to tell him?

"I don't want Kagome to come back and haunt me 'cause I chased you away! Don't leave without making it all right with everyone, 'cause I can't live if she hates me, I just can't!" Souta was shouting now, and his eyes were so swollen with tears that he could barely see out of them.

"An' Mama and Gramps have to make up with you too, 'cause Kagome didn't like them to talk about you. She'd always defend you when Mama worried, or when Gramps would whine about you being untrustworthy and stuff!" He became incoherent, his words swallowed up by his sobs.

Inuyasha felt as though his emotions were being mercilessly scrubbed, forcefully wrung out, then subjected once again to another tumultuous and painful scouring. His head hurt from crying, and his wits were muddled. Nothing made sense anymore. Up was down, happy was sad, and he was helpless. He was floating in this sea of confusion and anger, tainted by grief and bitterness.

"Look kid… Your mama ain't mad at me… Though why the hell not, I ain't got the slightest fuckin' clue." He couldn't bring himself to look at the kid, instead staring intently down at Kagome's peaceful face. "Your grandpa is just upset. Nobody is going to be haunting anyone. 'Sides, Kagome isn't like that." Inuyasha glanced up and gave the trembling child a weak grin. "She's too soft to beat up on anyone…"

Souta gave a tremulous laugh. "Yeah, big sis could never be a bully." He twisted his hands together, then looked at Inuyasha again. Abruptly, he burst into rapid-fire questions. "What happened to her? Why didn't she use the jewel, and how come no one used Tensaiga?"

Inuyasha's ears flickered rapidly, as did the many expressions running rampant across his haggard face.

"Kagome was mortally wounded by that-" Inuyasha barely contained the expletive, "Naraku." Here he ground his jaw together, baring his impressive canines. "She didn't use the jewel… I don't know why… And Tensaiga couldn't help her the way we needed it to." Inuyasha trailed off, his eyes darkening with grief and revulsion, directed at himself.

"She told me not to use the wish…An' so I didn't. I can't!" He looked up at the boy before him, begging silently for understanding. "I can't do that again. Kikyou… She was returned by a command, a wish she didn't want…" Souta surprisingly nodded.

"Kagome told me about how she heard this voice, crying out, 'Don't say my name, Inuyasha!' An' then she felt her soul spring out of her body." Inuyasha had recovered himself, placing the mask of distance over his unbearable pain. Looking up, Souta regarded him thoughtfully. "I bet Kagome knew that you would try anything to bring her back… But she didn't want to come back all bitter and full of hate. My big sister always had to be the hero." His face grew shuttered with renewed grief.

Inuyasha mentally shuddered. Emotions were boiling within all of them, and the changes were mercurial. One moment, there was happy reminiscence, the next deep-seated mourning.

"Go check on the old geezer. I don't wanna go down there and upset him all over again. This time, he just might bust a blood vessel or sumthin'." Souta nodded in agreement, and moved slowly out of the room, casting numerous glances back the bed and its red-clad protector. When Inuyasha gave him an encouraging growl, he hurried out the doorway.

Inuyasha sat there, alone in a room full of the very essence of Kagome. Books and silly stuffed animals littered the room, and various utensils lay scattered about, never picked up after Kagome's last hasty departure to the past. He winced and turned to stare out the window. As he gazed blankly into the cold grey sky, his hand instinctively reached out to find Kagome's.

That was how Mrs. Higurashi found him. His tan features were illuminated with a silvery light, and a grimace of sorrow creased his face.

He broke the silence with a whispered comment, never turning away from the window.

"He okay?"

She nodded, and moved to his side. Seating herself, she arranged her skirt primly, then looked out the window with him. They sat there, by the frilly pink bed and the still girl upon it, for an interminable time. Inuyasha began to speak, slowly. They were broken sentences with long pregnant pauses, where his expressive face would reveal his inner turmoil.

"I'm gonna say this now… Tell you… then leave. Caused enough trouble here, there's no reason to stay and start more." Inuyasha turned his head to face her. "As she… passed… Kagome told me… She said… She loved me." He drew in a deep, shuddering breath. "She had a final request. It was that I would not wish. Never told me what not to wish for, so to honor it, I ain't gonna bring her back. I could be even more wrong than I already am… Shit, she died because of me. Can't be much more wrong than that…"

Mrs. Higurashi patted his back gently, rubbing in soothing circles. If he closed his eyes and reached deep for the memory of his mother's scent, he could just barely imagine she was seated beside him, comforting him in this moment of need. Opening them, he gazed intently into the maternal face of Kagome's mother. She was still young and pretty, her face untouched by the ravages of life. When she offered up a small smile, the tiniest of crow's feet emerged at the corners of her eyes, and small dimples appeared about her mouth. If he pictured Kagome, he could just see the tiny, cute little quirk of her mouth.

Breathing through his nose, Inuyasha gathered his courage again and continued. "I brought Kagome home so that you could decide on a proper burial for her. It wouldn't have been right to commit her to her rest without your knowledge an' consent." Mrs. Higurashi nodded silently, regarding him through eyes that were strangely calm.

"Let me tell you a little story." He started at the words, then inclined his head quizzically. She smiled and continued. "My husband was an archeologist. Always had to be off on some adventure or seeing some new place. After we were married, I went with him, but when Kagome came along, we settled back at the shrine with my father. But Reiji couldn't stay in one place for very long, so he returned to his traveling." Her eyes clouded over as she recalled moments from a long-ago past.

"Kagome and Souta saw very little of him, but when ever he was here, he spent almost every second at their sides. Kagome's love of the past came from him, and Souta's obsession with fighting monster video games."

The cold light streaming in through the window illuminated her wistful expression. She sighed and tucked her short hair behind her ear, and continued. "Reiji would always tell stories of old legends and past happenings, and the kids were captivated. Kagome would go around outside with a magnifying glass, examining rocks and trees for symbols and whatnot, while Souta would fight battles with imaginary monsters."

"Now one day, my silly husband came home and fell down at my feet, unconscious. He had caught some strange disease in one of the more exotic locales." Mrs. Higurashi blinked, returning to herself. She turned and gave Inuyasha a gentle, understanding smile.

"My husband died soon after, but he did wake up once. He made me promise to cremate him, so that he could travel the earth on the winds, and eventually return to those beautiful sites he so loved." Her eyes darkened, and her hands, which lay folded in her lap, clenched with remembered pain.

"Then he asked for Kagome. Reiji told her that he was dying. Even then Kagome was too quick witted a child to be sheltered. He instructed her that she needed to be the opposite of him. Instead of searching out far and distant places, she needed to find her roots." Mrs. Higurashi glanced up at the bed, at the slight view of Kagome's profile. She closed her eyes and breathed in deeply, seeming to seek some fount of inner calm.

"After he died, Kagome made a decision. She told me that when she died, she wanted to be buried under the Goshinboku." She gave that gentle smile that seemed to characterize the love she held within for the world, a love Kagome had always radiated. "Kagome said that since Daddy traveled so far away when he died, she wanted to stay home. Even years later, when she first began to go down the well with you, she told me that she still wanted to be buried there."

A burning sensation settled in Inuyasha's gut. The Goshinboku… The God tree, where he had slept imprisoned for fifty years. She had wanted to be buried there, of all places. The burning sensation rose, filling him. He needed to run, be free…

'_Kagome…'_

He bowed his head and made as if to rise, speaking slowly and formally. "I thank you for that. It's good that she'll rest there. If anything can weather the trial of time, it's the Goshinboku."

He was stilled as Mrs. Higurashi caught his hand.

"Dear, you never let me finish…" Inuyasha stared down at her, straining to keep from breaking away. He just wanted to go, wanted to run away and keep running forever. Now he knew where Kagome would lie, and he felt an intense need to flee from that knowledge. It would be real, and he couldn't take that.

"Inuyasha…" Her voice had a coaxing quality, as though she knew that he was still here by the barest strand of will-power. "That wasn't all she told me. Once she realized just how dangerous everything would be… She told me what else she wanted. Kagome still wanted to be put to rest beneath the Goshinboku, but she needed something more." Mrs. Higurashi paused, taking a moment to gather herself. "She wanted to be buried in the past. I suppose she still felt the need to learn about it, to discover its mysteries and unearth its secrets. But most of all, she wanted to be with you, as the centuries passed by."

Stunned, Inuyasha stood there. He was frozen, paralyzed with racing emotions.

_'To be with me…'_

Bewildered by this revelation, he dropped slowly back down to his knees.

"I don't understand… Why? Why would she…" Inuyasha trailed off, and Mrs. Higurashi considered him, then awarded him with a look that spoke of much experience.

"She loved you. Why else?" He stared at her, his eyes blank. Ever since Kagome had fallen unconscious, Inuyasha had shied away from the memory of her last declaration. He had convinced himself that it was because he did not want to recall her final, tearing breaths, but the truth lay deeper than that. _His_ absolute truth.

'_Face the facts, boy. If things had ended differently, you would have had to choose between Kikyou and Kagome.' _Inuyasha winced mentally. '_The gods know you wanted Kagome, but you and your fool honor made that promise to Kikyou. Worst of all, Kagome would have let you go.'_

What hurt most was the fact that in the recesses of his heart, he knew he would have gone to Kikyou. He had always thought he was nothing if he did not have his pride, his honor. '_What a fool. And now that you know Kagome returned your feelings, you can't face the fact you would have walked away. Who needs pride or honor when there is someone so great, so loving… So utterly alive as Kagome? You idiot! Damn _fool_!'_

Breaking away from those painful thoughts, Inuyasha looked to Mrs. Higurashi. He hesitated, speaking quietly.

"Souta, he doesn't want me to leave until the old gaffer and I make up. He's convinced himself that Kagome will come back to haunt him."

Mrs. Higurashi blinked at the sudden change in the conversation, but she did not comment. "I'm sure that I can convince him that nothing bad will happen. It wouldn't be wise to agitate Father any more tonight." She regarded him steadily, her wise eyes judging him, weighing his worth. Nodding slowly, she looked as though she had reached a decision. "Yes, it's better if we say our goodbyes now, then have a ceremony here for her. Better not to put this off." Nodding again, she stood, dusting off her skirt. She moved past Inuyasha's kneeling form and sat on the edge of the bed. Reaching out, she tenderly touched her daughter's cheek.

"It might be better if you waited by the Goshinboku while we make our goodbyes."

Inuyasha flinched, but nodded. Mrs. Higurashi caught the slight recoil, and addressed him without turning from her contemplation of Kagome.

"Inuyasha, you're always welcome in my home. But for now, we are preparing for the mourning. I know that it will not help things to have the man who Father believes is responsible, grieving here beside him. Wait a while, then I'll fetch you." Her voice cracked on the last word, and he began to truly see the grief she had hidden so well. For all her wisdom, gentle smiles, and understanding talk, Mrs. Higurashi remained a mother who had had her only daughter wrenched from her forever.

Bowing his head in respect, Inuyasha opened Kagome's window and slid out onto the tree beside it. In a few bounds, he moved through the icy air, landing before the Goshinboku. Gazing up into its bare branches, at the last, tenacious leaves clinging to hope, he felt his heart clench again. Rubbing his chest, he wondered if perhaps he had an illness similar to what the elder Higurashi suffered from. But no, the palpitations of his heart sprang from his soul, not some disease.

He knelt on the hard, packed ground before the tree. This tree was all that remained of the Forest of Inuyasha, and the age and dignity of the stately plant humbled him. Kagome would be placed in this soil in just one day's time. Placed there by a dream created by misty romanticism. In truth, he would lay her to slumber through the centuries, and never rest himself. He could feel the uneasy energy building already. It sprang from the knowledge that the one who ruled his heart would be gone, lost to the progression of time.

Strong claws dug deep into the compact earth. _'No way around it. The bitch is gone, and she just had to take my heart with her!'_

Inuyasha sighed, and after a moment, the tension poured out of his shoulders. He leapt into the well-worn branches of his favorite perch. Settling himself, he gazed into the gray distance, a strange bubble of silence protecting him from the modern world and its pollutions.

The weathered bark cradled his body gently as he awaited the return of Mrs. Higurashi. No, that wasn't quite right. He wasn't waiting for the older woman; he was waiting for someone to tell him this was all real, that Kagome had truly died.

Resting his head against the strong side of his tree, he surveyed the shrine through heavy golden eyes. Yes, he was awaiting the end… The end of all his hopes, his dreams, and the beginning of the rest of his life…


	5. The Road Without a Path

**Life's Menagerie**

A/N- A note; the funeral ceremonies here do not follow traditional Buddhist, but stray more into the realm of Shinto, with a hint of Christianity, and a pinch of artistic liberty.

Thanks be to all those who inspire me- Niamh, the Xenocide, LilacRose23 all of my dear friends and all of the people who drive me crazy. Only LilacRose could do a cursory beta, so we're going to have to hope you can understand the bare workings of my mind. Luck…

As its doubtful I'll have time to get the next installation out before the end of December, what with all the things that are happening, here's an early holiday greeting- May you find Inuyasha wrapped up with a big bow on his head, sulking under a Christmas tree, a menorah, or whatever you have for Kwanzaa! Happy Holidays!

Disclaimer- Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't own him, and neither do you.

* * *

**Chapter Five- _The Road Without a Path_**

_What is life made of but choices?_

* * *

Wind rushed through the well-house, whistling and howling like a tormented beast. Inuyasha bowed awkwardly, but a touch of formality towards the assembled family of Kagome. The genuflection was made difficult as Kagome's slight form was nestled in his strong arms. He still managed it while maintaining some modicum of grace. Turning, he slowly entered the darkened interior of the small building.

Kagome's family had arranged themselves in various positions of farewell behind him. Souta waved tearfully, while Mrs. Higurashi stood serenely, her hands folded demurely and a pleasant smile illuminating her face. Grandpa stood sullenly by, and whenever he had managed to catch Inuyasha's eye, he would threateningly reveal a demon-ward. It was a surprisingly inconspicuous farewell, considering they would never again see Inuyasha… And more importantly, Kagome.

As Inuyasha balanced on the edge of the sturdy well, he glanced back over his shoulder. The tableau of faces, filled with emotions as different as the sun from the moon, spread before him with a strange finality. It signified a farewell, one he was loath to make. Almost as though walking away from these people who had become such an subtle part of his life was equivalent to leaving behind his desire to survive.

Bracing himself, he turned and nodded solemnly in farewell. An answering wave came from Souta, along with frantic shouts not to forget them, and to say goodbye to Kagome. Mrs. Higurashi's smile increased until she beamed down at him, and he even received a glowering, barely noticeable nod from her father. With that final glance, he dropped backwards into the well.

In the eternity that is the flow of time he brooded. Kagome lay as still as ever in his arms. During the Higurashi's ceremony, he had contemplated her still form, and had come to the conclusion that she no longer felt like _Kagome_. He knew from much experience that the body did not define the soul, and her soul was no longer contained within. It was no more than a beautiful shell, a facsimile of who Kagome was. Or did the physical form define the soul?

Where did the line between a person's soul and their body end? Kikyou and Kagome shared a soul and a nearly identical body. Yet could two women be more different? He didn't know. What if he loved the exact same woman, just with a different personality? A shiver passed down his spine. A sudden thought had hit him, one that discomforted him more than any before. _'Kagome. Where is your soul now? Is it within Kikyo? What will happen…?'_ So many things that he did not understand, so many things he could do nothing about. He felt ineffectual, worthless.

Sending his morbid thoughts away into the depths of his mind, he felt the end of the interminable passage through time approach. Slowly, his snowy hair hovering about him, Inuyasha touched one foot down, then the other. Kagome, dressed now in a white ceremonial kimono, seemed a ethereal vision in his arms. She floated placidly in the sparkling lavender glow, skin pale and translucent.

As the blinding glow faded, Inuyasha gazed upwards out of the old wooden well. The bright sky, framed by those self-same walls of wood, seemed to laugh at him.

'_Look how life goes on… Look how life doesn't pause, just for your tiny, insignificant sorrow.'_

Inuyasha sighed at his melancholy imaginings. '_It's just the sky. Nothing mocking about it.'_ He shifted Kagome so that she was settled tightly against him and leaped to the rim of the well in one easy bound. For a moment he closed his eyes, simply enjoying the feel of his muscles bunching and stretching. Using the brief physical exertion to distract himself from his problems, he balanced expertly on the edge. He stretched his senses, drawing the peace of the forest into himself… But what he scented in the air was neither peaceful nor of the forest. It was the harsh and bitter taste of the high mountains, and it gave him only a second's warning.

Golden eyes snapped open, pupils dilating instantaneously until his irises were but a thin line of copper wire surrounding dark gemstones. Muscles involuntarily contracting, he fell into a snarling crouch as an attack passed but an inch above his head. The wind of its passage ruffled his bangs, and in that instant of stillness, Inuyasha's sharp nose recognized who this mysterious threat was.

'_Kouga.'_

That instant of assessment nearly cost him his head, as another sweeping round-kick whipped through the space where he had crouched just seconds ago. The fur-clad foot hit nothing but air, and an disappointed growl came from the angry wolf-demon.

"Come back here and face me, coward!"

Inuyasha finished his backward roll, then immediately threw himself into a flip, somersaulting over the head of the startled demon prince. Landing before Kouga, he snarled once, then turned and launched himself in the direction of the village. The stunned prince stood blinking for a moment, watching the red-clad form race further and further away from him. Then with an infuriated roar, he leapt after his rival.

Inuyasha ran. He ran as though hell's fiery furnaces were blasting heat upon his thinly clad back. The trees whipped past him, and he bent his head to protect his precious bundle from their fierce limbs and tearing twigs. He almost stumbled several times, but his need to get Kagome to the village before he faced that idiot of a wolf pushed him onward. Inuyasha would have made it, if not for a wayward branch. While he distractedly listened for signs of Kouga, it caught him high in the jaw.

The wood cracked with the contact, breaking and falling to the soft loam beneath. It was not alone in its headlong tumble for the ground. The collision had thrown Inuyasha off-balance, and he barely kept himself from crashing violently to the ground. His head swam from the blow, spots of white light dancing across his vision.

Shaking his head, he regained his feet unsteadily, just in time for Kouga to arrive. He landed a solid blow to Inuyasha's lower back, sending him flying. Inuyasha tucked himself into a ball to protect Kagome's delicate form, anticipating the harsh landing. As he crashed against an ancient oak, his spine took the brunt of the impact.

A strangled howl escaped from his clenched teeth, stars exploding into his field of vision, and Kouga's loud, arrogant laughter rang in his ears. Sliding to the ground, still clutching Kagome, he bowed his head against the pain. Struggling mightily to keep back the encroaching numbness, Inuyasha barely heard Kouga's demand through his fog of agony.

"Why don't you get up off your ass, dog-shit, and take me to Kagome. I came to see how my love is faring." Kouga settled one hand on his hip and smirked scornfully. "I wouldn't have left her with you if it hadn't been for the fact my pack still needed tending. Good thing you have those women to attend to her, or else I would have been worried. The gods only know what would have happened had _you_ been left to care for her."

The smirk faded slightly as no response came from the silent, pain-wracked figure of Inuyasha. "Hey, inu-koro, c'mon! I'm in a hurry!" Still Inuyasha did not respond; not even a hint of his expression peeked through the concealing curtain of his hair. Kouga, growing impatient, strode forward, making as if to lift Inuyasha up by the scruff of his shirt. Suddenly, one of Inuyasha's hands shot out and seized his wrist, stopping the hand mid-motion.

"You dumb fuck," Inuyasha ground out. "Enough of your damn excuses! You were never there when she needed you. Keh, those _high n' mighty _demon senses should have found her already!" An amber eye became visible, glinting with fierce anger and what looked to be… Disgust? Pity? Sorrow?

Confused, Kouga pulled forcefully out of Inuyasha's strong grip. Raising his head, he delicately scented the air. Almost immediately, his sleepy blue eyes flew open, and his mouth gaped wide. Stumbling, he moved away from Inuyasha, who watched him with a certain grim satisfaction.

The horrified Prince of the Wolf-demon tribe fell to his knees. "No… Kagome! But she- No!" Inuyasha shifted painfully, and in doing so, revealed the pale, still face of Kagome. Kouga's shining cerulean eyes filled with tears, and his mouth worked soundlessly. One breathless refusal slipped out. "No…"

"Oh yes," Inuyasha said quietly. "She died while you were tending to your long-suffering pack." He spit, glaring caustically, then winced as he righted himself. There was something wrong with his back, but his demon blood was quickly healing the damage. As he straightened, vertebrae snapped back into place with an audible crack. The sharp sound of bones resetting was lost on the blindly staring Kouga.

Inuyasha looked at his rival. Kouga sat, felled by the worst injury he had ever suffered. This sad sight created the strangest swell of pity within him. At least he, Inuyasha, had Kagome's final declaration of love to comfort himself with. Kouga had nothing, his bright future swept away in one violent instant.

A stifled cry rose in Kouga's chest, and he fell forward onto his hands. Tears trickled down his chin, a cascade of pure torment. Suddenly, he slammed his fist into the soft soil, howling in rage and anguish. He shook his head in wild denial, his long hair sticking to his tear-stained face. Inuyasha turned from the sight of Kouga's grief, and spoke quietly, cradling Kagome closer.

"Kagome asked to be buried beneath the Goshinboku. We'll do it tonight, once the grave is dug. Come if you want." He received not response, but he didn't expect one. The wolf-demon needed time to grieve, and Inuyasha would not begrudge him the peace of the forest. With those parting words, he started in the direction of the village. He displayed a grim countenance to the world, hiding his immense pain behind his well-known facade.

Behind Inuyasha, Kouga finally gave voice to his anguish. It was the full-throated cry of a wolf that has lost its mate. The eerie baying echoed into the surrounding woods, sending flocks of cawing birds spiraling upwards. The howl throbbed in the air, echoing and answering itself. In the village, a small sad group gathered in Kaede's hut exchanged knowing glances.

o-

Miroku flung dirt steadily over his shoulder, robes tied back for greater freedom of movement. The scarlet sunlight painting bloody designs on his dark robes, reflecting off of his grief-filled eyes. Beside him, Inuyasha excavated furiously, almost too fast for the eye to follow. The hole that was fast emerging was wide and deep, a hungry maw begging to be fed.

Wiping beads of sweat from his brow, Miroku straightened. He stretched, wincing, then spoke softly. "I believe that this is a suitable grave for our lady. No need to send her into the clutches of the earth dragons." Inuyasha paused, then gently laid his shovel aside.

"The only dragons that could ever touch Kagome are those of the sky…But she'll be flying too fast to be caught." Miroku eyed his companion, squinting in the light of the dying sun. Quizzically, he wondered at his friends thoughts.

"Rather melancholy, don't you think? Pondering what her afterlife will be like? Surely a soul as pure as Lady Kagome's will be reincarnated into a wondrous being, far from any pain and suffering." Inuyasha smiled at that, but it was an empty one. It never reached his eyes, and after a moment it faltered and disappeared. Miroku sighed and hefted himself out of the hollow. Inuyasha followed after him, moving slowly, as though his limbs were made entirely of lead. It seemed as if the manic energy which had fueled him earlier had drained away in an instant.

Inuyasha had lost himself in the work, forcing himself not to think, just to move. To simply exist, to simply _be_. It had been a momentary release, and a welcome one. But now he had to come back to reality and face the monumental task of living… Without Kagome. His prospects seemed to dim before his eyes and as time went on, the future before him became increasingly bleak. If Kikyou had asked him in that very instant to return to hell with her, he would have gladly gone.

He broke from his trance when Miroku threw one of the shovels to him. It smacked into his chest, and he hurriedly scrambled to catch it. Miroku said nothing, and began to walk off briskly. Glancing back, he called to Inuyasha, who was still standing by the hole, distractedly clutching the shovel.

"Let's be going. Kaede's instructions were to return as soon as the grave-site was prepared so that she could sanctify the ground. We would not want to keep her waiting." With that, he swung around and continued on deliberately, leaving Inuyasha to his thoughts.

Inuyasha watched the tall figure of the young houshi disappear into the dense surrounding foliage. Shaking his head, he growled to himself. _'That man just can't seem to stop being so damn optimistic He's gonna get the shit beat out of him someday…'_

Intentionally avoiding the grave-site, he walked to the Goshinboku's side. Reaching up, he laid a dirty, clawed hand to the bark-less patch on the giant tree. For a moment, all was still; he stood there, a motionless statue poised on the brink of some monumental discovery. Then the moment passed and hesitantly he withdrew, stepping away.

Inuyasha regarded the Goshinboku for another second, his tawny eyes distant. He blinked, and took another step. Another brief time passed, before he came to his senses again. Shaking his head violently, he turned and shot off in the direction of the village, leaving the forest as still and empty.

The clearing was silent, the final rays of dying sunlight bursting through the dense foliage, smearing everything with crimson light. The foliage on the surrounding trees seemed to bleed, and the massive Goshinboku was a pillar of scarlet. A breeze ruffled the ruby drops that masqueraded as leaves; the tranquility was tinged with a vague feeling of sorrow.

* * *

"Even the gorgeous royal chariots wear out; and indeed this body too wears out. But the teaching of goodness does not age; and so Goodness makes that known to the good ones." Miroku completed his chant, bowing his head, and the lapse was barely noticeable as Kaede resumed her prayers.

A slow and sorrowful procession made its winding way through the dark woods. In the front was Kaede, constantly chanting benedictions. Immediately behind her came Inuyasha; in his arms lay Kagome, arranged in a position of peaceful repose. Miroku strode along behind him, his staff jangling, and a hand raised in prayer. Shippou rode doggedly on his shoulder, eyes red from numerous tears. Sango followed, leading Kohaku, and bringing up the rear of the funeral procession were two figures.

Kikyou's tranquil gaze rested fixedly on Inuyasha's unyielding back, and to her right Kouga produced a incessant growl. It provided an underlying noise to the crunch of breaking sticks and crushed leaves. Other than the labored breathing and occasional harsh sobs from Shippou, these were the only sounds in the nearly utter silence.

Everyone but Inuyasha and Miroku carried armloads of yellow and white chrysanthemums. The flowers had been gathered by the villagers, in respect of their miko. They had stripped the plants bare of flowers for miles around; there had to be a thousand blooms, and their fragrance was powerful. To the small group, the sweet perfume seemed cloying, like an attempt to hide the scent of death. The canines in particular seemed averse to it; Shippou and Kouga both carried far less blossoms than any of the others.

All were sunk in deep reflection, but their emotions differed greatly. Inuyasha seemed distant, as though this were an unreal scene, while Kouga seethed quietly, his low growl rumbling continuously. Sango was withdrawn and remarkably fragile. The loss of her closest female friend had staggered her greatly, and she clutched her brother close, as though he might slip away from her just as unexpectedly. Kohaku was quiet and sober, more out of respect for his sister and the lose of such a close friend than any real attachment to Kagome.

All of these reactions were normal, even expected. But Kikyou was a enigma. After her mysterious disappearance, she had returned, somehow changed. No longer was she cold and aloof; a sense of dignified, wistful suffering hovered about her. Even now, as she trudged after her long-standing rival and reincarnation, the sensation of welling tears made her squint. It went unnoticed by her companions.

They came to a gradual halt as their destination appeared before them. Just enough of the remaining sunlight filtered into the glade, mixing on an intangible palette with the descending darkness. The clearing filled with dark burgundy half-light, creating a dismal effect. There was a moment's hesitation in the cadence of Kaede's chant. She stepped forward, motioning the others to arrange themselves in a semi-circle about the grave. Laying her flowers down, she moved with Miroku to the head of the grave, and arranged herself on her knees, continuing her chant all the while. She was soon joined by Miroku, whose smooth baritone blended with her gravelly old tone to create a powerful, throbbing hymn.

Not wishing to prolong the misery for the traditionally longer period of mourning, Kaede and Miroku had decided on a quick burial. So with haste, the villagers had scrabbled about in preparation, gathering together a fine burial cloth to enshroud their lady. A yellowed, fragile cloth had been shyly donated by a young mother, with tear-filled eyes and breathless condolences.

This silk cloth, treasured for generations and handled with such loving care, would lay with Kagome, her only protection against the harsh hands of time. Strands of white hair drifted across the aged silk as Inuyasha bent his head. Drawing deeply on his reserves, he held back his tears. Enough crying had been done, and more would come. The men had to be strong, strong for their loved ones. He cast a glance from beneath his bangs towards Kikyou.

She stared into the yawning pit, contemplating deeply. He noted that a palpable air of sorrow hung heavy on her shoulders; unexpected, as she had always regarded Kagome as an inept child. Wincing, he turned his face away, closing his eyes tightly. There were decisions looming, choices he did not want to make… He wished with all his heart that this was all a dream. Any moment, he would awaken to Shippou's teasing and Kagome's sweet laughter.

Holy power grew in the clearing with a tangible hum. Demon skin tingled as the power reached out, testing the worthiness of these intruding presences. Kaede and Miroku remained in deep concentration. Their chanting droned on, fading in and out as a stiff breeze rushed through the clearing. The mourners bowed their heads as the two blessed the grave, mingling their powers as they had done to sustain Kagome.

The holy powers grew to monumental proportions; the demons shifted uncomfortably as purifying magic rippled across their skins. Miroku and Kaede's chant strengthened, taking on an almost spectral tone. Speaking as one, they cast a surprising incantation, one that gained odd looks from those who did not know the formal rites, and astonished ones from those who did.

"Henceforth, all who would cause harm shall be cast from this place. No man or demon with violence in their hearts towards those held dear to this departed one may enter, or their souls shall be weighed, judged, and sentenced. Bind from those strengths and arbitrate from such weaknesses as found within ourselves." Their powers reached their peak, causing a strange shimmering, as though the air itself boiled. It saturated everything, and left a feeling as though every sin, every peccadillo of the heart was thoroughly examined, then erased, leaving a pure being behind.

Slowly, the powers eased. The mourners were left breathless, struggling as though they had just fought a battle for their lives. A final whispered benediction ghosted across the grave.

"Walk upon the path of light…"

The moment was shattered when Kouga, his blue eyes bugging out, coughed out an expletive. He gazed accusingly at the two sages. "Wh-what the hell did you just do to us?" Kaede raised her gray head and gazed with tired eyes upon the stunned youkai.

"We have insured that no person bearing malice in their hearts will ever disturb this grave." Levering herself up from where she knelt, Kaede sighed. "It is the duty of the living to care for the remains of the dead; I have failed once in this, and I shall not fail again." Not one person glanced towards Kikyou, but suddenly all attention was focused solely on her. She did not look up, but merely knelt beside the grave, flinging her flowers into its depths. They carpeted the bare earth, creating a sweet byre for Kagome to lie upon.

Sango followed her example, kneeling and gently casting her armload of chrysanthemums on top of Kikyou's. Kohaku glanced at his sister for direction, and at her slight nod, reverently threw down his as well. Kaede followed suit, and Miroku borrowed a flower off of Shippou. By now the grave was filled a third of the way by the flowers, and Inuyasha stepped forward. His slight motion seemed an earthquake, shaking the mourners to their core.

Moving to the side of the grave, he gently lowered his precious burden into the pile of soft petals. Gently re-covering Kagome's porcelain face with the burial shroud, he arranged her so that she reclined comfortably in the bed of flowers. Straightening, Inuyasha stepped back and borrowed another flower from Shippou. Closing his eyes, his lips moved in silent prayer. Then with a sad smile, he placed the blossom over Kagome heart. One final, lingering caress of his razor claws across the smooth slope of her cheek…And he turned away in a flurry of crimson cloth.

Kouga came forward now, laying his flowers carefully so that they created a thick blanket over Kagome's still form. Tears gathered in his eyes, but he did not cry. Returning to his place, he steadily regarded the gorgeous covering of flowers. Shippou sniffled as he tottered over to the grave. Deep hiccupping sobs shaking his small frame, he tossed his meager armful in. The flowers scattered wide; not a scrap of cloth could be seen. Kagome had sunk so deeply into the depths of the cradling blossoms that she was no longer visible; it was as though Nature wanted her to rest entombed in sweetness.

Kaede voiced one final prayer, then bowed. "Farewell, my child. May your journey be gentle and kind."

Glancing towards the mourners, she nodded. Turning away, she began to walk with the slow deliberation of age toward the village, leaving them to grieve in private. Kouga gazed after her, then turned his attention back to his intent study of the grave. A shuddering sigh worked its way out of him, and he knelt on one knee. Hair falling forward over his shoulder, he bent forward and whispered to the grave.

"My devotion will not be dimmed by death. I swear, be it in this life or the next, I will always care for you." He cast one final sorrow-filled gaze toward the grave, then turned and disappeared in a whirlwind of displaced air. The clearing rustled and clothing whipped about from the violence of his passing, but no one seemed to take notice.

Clambering up from where he sat sobbing, Shippou stumbled through the haze of tears, making his way to Inuyasha. He did not leap up, but instead tugged timidly on his pant leg. Inuyasha gazed down, his eyes softening at the sight of the bedraggled, grief-stricken kit. Leaning over, he picked up the wailing child and settled him against his chest, rubbed a clawed in comforting circles around the child's quivering shoulders. His golden eyes focused inward, unseeing, as he whispered soothing nonsense into Shippou's hair.

Sango, sending a fleeting look towards Inuyasha's remote expression, slipped down the hill a ways while ushering her brother along. Miroku followed, wrapping a solicitous arm around her shoulders. She leaned into him, seeming to draw strength. Closing her eyes, she clutched a hand in his robes; against her will, hot salty tears slipped down her cheeks. He held her close as they moved away to a respectable distance, allowing Inuyasha and Shippou to mourn in peace.

There was one other who stood with them, oblivious.

Kikyou continued to contemplate the grave, standing quiet and detached. She slipped on pale hand into her haori, directly over her heart. Withdrawing it, she gradually opened her clenched palm, revealing a sparkling orb. The Shikon no tama glittered in her hand, the source of so much sorrow, but also a gateway to happiness. Peeking through her bangs at Inuyasha, her brows knit in consternation.

Squaring her shoulders, she gathered her resolve. _'I am no cowardly little girl. I have faced the flames before. For happiness... For us… I can and will do this.'_

Kikyou stepped forward. Inuyasha looked up at her, surprised; she had not spoken to him since Kagome had fallen upon the battle-field, and he could not fathom what she would want with him now.

All he had was an impression. Long swaying hair and wistful grey eyes filled his vision as she moved gracefully to his side. Laying a cool hand on his sleeve, she stood upon her tiptoes and laid a gentle kiss upon his lips. It was full of bitter-sweet longing. As the others looked on astonished, the kiss lingered, lips clinging together.

Kikyou pulled back slowly, reluctant to leave the haven of Inuyasha's presence. He opened his eyes, bewildered, and gazed into her china-doll face. She gave a smile, so full of love that his breath caught in his throat. Releasing his arm she stepped away.

He stared, bewildered, as she walked sedately to the head of Kagome's grave. Casting a remorseful glance back at him, she opened her palm. Cradled within it sat the glittering jewel. Sango gasped, and Miroku made an inarticulate noise of surprise. Inuyasha was too stunned to do more than drag in a rasping breath, while Shippou merely watched, his large, startled eyes taking in everything.

Raising the jewel overhead, Kikyou closed her eyes and summoned her powers. They swirled up her arm, lighting the jewel until it shown nearly incandescent. She then addressed it, eyes still closed in concentration.

"The truest wish of my soul begs for fulfillment. My heart and my intentions are pure. Grant me this boon to correct the suffering wrought with this jewel."

The radiance of the jewel filled the clearing, lighting it so brightly that the group had to shield their eyes from its brilliant rays. A pulsing filled the air, and the observers stumbled back from the incredible power. Kikyou was glowing just as strongly as the jewel; the pulsing increased until it sounded with the intensity of festival drums. Turning a face that shown like a supernova towards Inuyasha, she offered up a sad smile.

"I will set right all that has gone so wrong. I pray for your happiness. Farewell, Inuyasha."

With those final words, the Shikon no tama gave an incredible pulse of energy, throwing the observers off their feet. Then the white light, which had built to an eye-watering intensity, exploded outward. Inuyasha pressed himself to the ground, sheltering Shippou; Miroku did the same for Kohaku and Sango. The brilliant detonation pressed them down, and erased all thought, all sensation.

* * *

Birds twittered in their trees, disturbed from their late-night roosts by the strange occurrences in the clearing. Wind whistled through the trees, a quiet vibration in the air. Miroku slowly regained conscious, awareness of the soft body beneath his filtering in. Opening his eyes, he gazed into the slack face of his beloved. Beside them, Kohaku stirred, muttering as he moved towards wakefulness.

Pulling his body laboriously off of Sango, he heaved himself up with the help of his staff. With a groan, Sango came to. Pressing a trembling hand to her forehead, she winced as she found a noticeable lump; she had cracked her head off a branch when she had fallen.

Miroku circled an arm around her waist, levering her up. Once he raised her, they teetered gracelessly, nearly toppling over again. Planting his feet, the monk steadied them. Sango looked to him, an anxious inquiry on her lips, but it died when she saw the expression on his face. His gaze was directed towards the Goshinboku, mouth drawn in a worried frown.

Following his worried gaze, her eyes lit upon Inuyasha. He stood before the grave, lifeless, staring. Shippou sat where the pair had fallen, dazedly shaking his head. It was obvious Inuyasha had come to before any of the rest had begun to stir. But was even more obvious was his despair. His golden eyes were dead and flat; they stared unseeing at the spot where Kikyou had summoned the power of the sacred jewel.

A stone spire that was twice Shippou's height had grown out of the ground. It was bare except for where the Shikon no tama's soft light shown from its peak. The sacred jewel was embedded deeply in the stone. It was as though the jewel had fused with the stone. There seemed to be no definite line between the two substances. There was no sign of Kikyou…

With a soft sob, Inuyasha crumpled to the ground. Shippou ventured hesitantly forward, sidling up to Inuyasha with a worried look. Gently, he patted Inuyasha's shaking shoulders, offering what little comfort his slight body could.

"M-Miroku," Shippou called over his shoulder, "what should I do?"

Shippou's childish call for assistance broke the spell that had held the incredulous exterminator and monk motionless. Though still somewhat unsteady, they hurried up the incline. Together, they managed to pull Inuyasha up. Grunting, Miroku pulled an arm around his shoulder; Inuyasha was dead weight, hanging limp as tears stamped lines of misery on his face. Sango hurried to lift Inuyasha's other side, nearly stumbling under his weight.

Jerking his head at Sango, he spoke quietly over his insensible friend's head. "We need to get him back to the village. Loosing both Kagome and Kikyou has sent him into a state of shock, but when he comes out of it, he could be totally irrational. There has to be a guard over him night and day; he might do something rash if we leave him alone." Sango nodded, and he gifted her with a gentle smile.

Shifting his attention to Shippou, he eyed the little boy gravely. "Can you help Sango with Inuyasha when we get back? I will need to explain to Lady Kaede what has happened, and you seem to calm him down. We need someone who can't be tricked to watch over him." Shippou puffed up a little with pride at the compliment, but his face was serious.

"Yeah… Inuyasha can be pretty dumb sometimes. I'll keep an eye on him." Miroku nodded, casting a last glance back at the glowing jewel. Indigo eyes narrowed; he had been led to believe that when the power of the Shikon no tama was used to grant a wish, it would cease to be. So if Kikyou had received her wish, then why did the jewel still exist?

With that troubling thought lingering in his mind, Miroku settled Inuyasha more securely on his shoulder. Sango motioned to him, and they set off towards the village, with Shippou anxiously watching Inuyasha for signs of awareness.

* * *

Darkness had long since fallen upon the clearing of the Goshinboku. Illuminated by the bright light of the moon, the Shikon no tama glowed like bright jewelry set into dull metal. The grave, filled in so recently by solemn village men, was covered by wildflowers, left there by village women and children as a sign of respect to their fallen priestess. Several bunches were propped against the large stone, a bowl filled with incense petering out. Kikyou's disappearance and the arrival of the incapacitated Inuyasha had the villagers drawing many conclusions; the flowers on the stone were from those few who had correctly interpreted the series of events.

The night was bright, lit by the moon, but the heavy boughs of the trees produced deep shadows. From one such shadow a figure slowly detached itself. A delicate woman dressed in a gorgeous cherry and white striped kimono moved into the clearing. She was cautious, and closer inspection revealed that her kimono was torn and smudged and that she moved with a slight limp.

Her fine features were bruised and beaten, and her black hair was mussed and unkempt. Following her closely was a young girl, dressed in pure, unsullied white. She shined with an eerie, unearthly radiance, as luminescent as the moon. The gloom receded slightly before her glowing form. Docilely, the younger girl moved to the elder's side, studying her with unfeeling eyes.

The older woman regarded her with a raised eyebrow, then offered a small, triumphant smile. She held out her hand to the wraithlike girl. The little girl studied it for a moment, then carefully took the proffered appendage. Her dark, barren gaze seemed to gain an infinitesimal glint of light as she copied the smile. Together the strange pair moved towards the freshly-covered grave. The younger seeming to float across the ground, the older carrying herself with an air of elegance and grace, despite her injury.

Stopping before the slight mound of soil, the older woman withdrew a single downy feather from her hair. The child pulled a shard of a shattered mirror from the sleeve of her kimono. The injured woman knelt, and the girl followed her example. Together, they raised their offerings above the grave, and closed their eyes. The silence returned, as though it had never been disturbed. Long minutes passed, during which time nothing happened. But slowly, the moon's brilliant glare dimmed; it's light muted by a slowly circling swirl of blue and white energy.

This galaxy of energy encased the two kneeling figures, but they did not move. Their clothes and hair floated, as though ruffled by a gentle breeze, unflinching in the maelstrom of power. The energy continued to build, surging around their still forms in an ever increasing whirlwind.

Abruptly, the energy froze. At some unspoken signal, both girls opened their eyes, and released the now glowing objects into the air. They floated briefly. Then, with a sudden sucking motion, the energy spiraled backwards into the hovering items. The girl raised their joined hands, and motioned towards the grave. The two items burst apart, showering glowing particles onto the raised mound.

The specks glowed momentarily, winking as their light faded. Nothing seemed to have changed in the clearing, and it was as though the powerful magic of the past moment had never been. The older woman collapsed, and was barely supported by the younger girl. Struggling to her feet, she passed a weary hand across her eyes.

She spoke dryly, addressing the grave. "My final debt has been paid. I'm free." She paused, and the younger girl gazed up at her. She smiled softly in response, raising her eyes to the sky. "It may be little in the way of comfort, but your sacrifice has given me the chance I've dreamed of. Consider this my repayment." She smirked, but it there was no malice in her smile.

"As for you, Kikyou, that jewel seems to have exacted a heavy price. I hope you have gained whatever you wish was…" Exhaling slowly, she stepped away from the support of the younger girl. Bowing somewhat unsteadily in the direction of the grave, she motioned the child to do so as well. Solemnly, she again addressed the grave.

"Thank you, Miko Kagome, Miko Kikyou. May our gifts serve you well. Farewell." She straightened, and once again offered her hand to the younger girl. The small, white hand nestled into hers, and she started off into the woods. She did not look back, but the child did.

The older woman was brought to a stop by a tugging on her hand. The young girl had come to a complete stop, and now gazed back in the direction of the grave, her mouth forming inaudible words. A moment passed, and she cocked her head to the side as though listening. Then a smile -a dazzling, joyous grin- curved those porcelain cheeks, and she began to laugh.

Elegant, refined Kagura watched in amazement as her sister Kanna burst into gales of pealing laughter. Her laugh was that of bells; huge brazen bells, tiny silver bells, bells of every type. The sound continued on, hanging in the still air. Even after her laughter had ceased, tinkling echoes flew through the woods.

Bending down, Kagura studied Kanna intently. All that met her gaze was the child's normal impassive expression, but a hint of humor seemed to lurk beneath that detached appearance. Leaning in, she questioned her sister. "Kanna?"

Kanna merely gazed up at her. "They will be most grateful for the gifts," drifted upwards in that familiar sibilant whisper. With that, Kanna turned and began to drift into the dark depths of the woods. Kagura followed, bemused. As they disappeared into the dense foliage, one tart comment from Kagura lingered.

"They simply _have_ to be dramatic…"

* * *

A/N- (includes MAJOR SPOILER)

I realize that Kagura dies prematurely in the series. However, this chapter was written well before that beatific death scene. Kagura and Kanna's brief appearance is an integral plot device, so for the sake of the story they remain. Besides, one can never have enough of Kagura's witticisms.


End file.
